So Katy Perry is reported to have been playing with Russell Brand's cocky wocky in Thailand after her impressive titty witties (so she's told us many times) caught his eye at the VMAs...
According to The Mirror, the comedian was was so enamored with the singer that he wooey wooed her by writing her a poem and requested one back. Katy allegedly obliged by sending Russell a picture of her boobs with "poem" written across them. Ho ho ho etc.
A friend of the actor revealed:
"Russell killed himself laughing when Katy sent a photo of her boobs with the word 'poem' scrawled across them."
*plan forms*
"The next minute Russell picked up the phone and invited her to Thailand for a secret getaway."
*plan executed*
We say this because a mole got in touch with us to say:
"I'm in Thailand and Russell Brand is here with Katy Perry, wow and ewww! 'Besotted' Russell should watch out who's listening in when he's on his phone though. He wasn't exactly whispering when we overheard him say he's only with Katy P so he can 'make America love him'??!!? What a douche. She deserves better."
Erm, well really, what was she expecting?
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Oscars 2010: Our fashion experts comment on the dresses. Ish.
Wayne Bridge makes John Terry t-shirts, at least he sees the funny side
Beth Ditto scares the McCartney family in Paris
Oh no - look who's in Doctor Who
Elton John's Oscar party, posh looks drunk, Cowell's breasts
Chanelle Hayes still pregnant, goes out with Robbie Coltrane
When Holy Moly met JLS
How much is your sex tape worth?
X Factor's Rachel Adedeji gets the Holy Moly Interrogation
What is so damn great about Blighty?
X Factor's Lucie Jones gets a Holy Moly Interrogation
It's about Chocolate, Jesus said so!
COMMENTS (9)
aww, poor Katy and her big breasts now have crotch rot
There's yet another fanny I wouldn't touch with a stolen cock. Well done, Brand, you unfunny cunt, you're making the female population unfuckable as you go along with your poxy woxy dick
Nice axe though, rather look at her than James Dean Bradfield.
Some one cut his cock off the planets got enough mega cunts
With the boobs covered up it makes you realize she's a Butterface. Face of a 40 year old soccer mom. Ugh.
Fucking spot on
First time that I have ever noticed her face, and I have seen worse
Could there have been a cuntier pairing, ever? I pity the other patrons of the hotel these two preening fuckwads stayed at.
Give it a few years and when the money runs out, that's when we'll hear how Uncle Russ's sex life never did straighten him out (a....HEM!)