Cristiano Ronaldo's baby result of one-night stand and greatest chat up line ever

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Cristiano Ronaldo likes to f*ck, f*ck

He Bangs (women)

Mon, 19/07/2010 - 11:47 by HM writer

Despite ever so discretely hinting that Cristiano Ronaldo may have done a Ricky Martin after recently announcing that he had suddenly become a father, it's now been revealed that his newborn son IS the result of sexual intercourse with a woman. A 'penniless' American waitress, apparently, who was wooed with the best chat up line in the world ever that cost Ronaldo not only his dignity and self-respect (though we're not sure he has much), but also £10million....

According to reports, Ronaldo approached the waitress in an LA restaurant before speaking the beautiful and poetic words:

"Me, you, f*ck-f*ck"

The first and last words ever spoken between them, presumably... And had such a line not been delivered by a £200,000 a week footballer, it would probably have been followed by a slap in the face.

But it was, so back to a hotel Ronaldo and his mystery women went.

It's also being claimed that Ronaldo will not tell his son, imaginatively named, erm, Crisitano Ronaldo, the identity of his mother until he turns 18. Or the love story behind his conception... Or how he was basically bought for £10million... Happy parenting, Ronaldo!

Cristiano Ronaldo pictures, Cristiano Ronaldo

Comments

For some reason I can believe Little Ronaldo would say "fuck fuck?" He is the original Bitty Man. Still sucking on his ma's tiddy while he makes shapes with his penis. The man's a joke.
PuddyTwat Mon, 19/07/2010 - 22:03
He's almost the male equivalent of Katie Price, apart from being good at football.
angrykid Mon, 19/07/2010 - 19:19
I'm with Slug on this one.
He's still a raving ............ I reckon!
whothehellamiagain Mon, 19/07/2010 - 16:03
He is probably the only geezer around who would say Fuck Fuck to a bird and would get laid straight away though.
kermits Mon, 19/07/2010 - 15:53
!It's hard to find a good men in my town ,most of them like my money more than like me.Ijust want to find my true love.so i uploaded my hot photos on Ag e * Mi *ng le *.* ( ℃0 M under the name of amanda30.It's the best club for seeking young or old girls.if you men see this comment,i hope you will check my photos out there.maybe you are the one whoi'm looking for
lilykiss17 Mon, 19/07/2010 - 15:11
that may be so, but the fact that the vapid cunt was no doubt dripping with all manner of gold and massive diamonds probably gave away the fact that he's got a few quid
wallyraffles Mon, 19/07/2010 - 14:44
I've got a bit of an issue with this one (yeah yeah, so has he). I've lived in the States for a while and most 'penniless' American waitresses wouldn't have a fucking clue who Ronaldo was, let alone that he was a £200,000 a week footballer (a sport that is traditionally regarded as being for total pansies by large parts of the population).
slug Mon, 19/07/2010 - 12:48
I guess you have to give him some...credit (jesus that's difficult to write) for taking the kid home - I imagine she'd have taken £10m to raise it herself if he hadn't fancied having an extra hairstyle to tease into shape.
sinaplenty Mon, 19/07/2010 - 12:04

I guess you have to give him some...credit (jesus that's difficult to write) for taking the kid home - I imagine she'd have taken £10m to raise it herself if he hadn't fancied having an extra hairstyle to tease into shape.
sinaplenty Mon, 19/07/2010 - 12:04
I've got a bit of an issue with this one (yeah yeah, so has he). I've lived in the States for a while and most 'penniless' American waitresses wouldn't have a fucking clue who Ronaldo was, let alone that he was a £200,000 a week footballer (a sport that is traditionally regarded as being for total pansies by large parts of the population).
slug Mon, 19/07/2010 - 12:48
that may be so, but the fact that the vapid cunt was no doubt dripping with all manner of gold and massive diamonds probably gave away the fact that he's got a few quid
wallyraffles Mon, 19/07/2010 - 14:44
!It's hard to find a good men in my town ,most of them like my money more than like me.Ijust want to find my true love.so i uploaded my hot photos on Ag e * Mi *ng le *.* ( ℃0 M under the name of amanda30.It's the best club for seeking young or old girls.if you men see this comment,i hope you will check my photos out there.maybe you are the one whoi'm looking for
lilykiss17 Mon, 19/07/2010 - 15:11
He is probably the only geezer around who would say Fuck Fuck to a bird and would get laid straight away though.
kermits Mon, 19/07/2010 - 15:53
I'm with Slug on this one.
He's still a raving ............ I reckon!
whothehellamiagain Mon, 19/07/2010 - 16:03
He's almost the male equivalent of Katie Price, apart from being good at football.
angrykid Mon, 19/07/2010 - 19:19
For some reason I can believe Little Ronaldo would say "fuck fuck?" He is the original Bitty Man. Still sucking on his ma's tiddy while he makes shapes with his penis. The man's a joke.
PuddyTwat Mon, 19/07/2010 - 22:03