Danielle Lloyd has contractions in Sainsbury's, slow news day continues

Danielle Lloyd before the contractions in Sainsbury's

Try Something New (born) Today

Tue, 22/06/2010 - 12:58 by HM writer

STOP PRESS. Danielle Lloyd almost gave birth in a Sainsbury's in Essex yesterday afternoon, so thank heavens that she wasn't dressed in her Juicy Couture tracksuit in a Tesco or she could have been forced to have had those contractions out in the street....

A made up and very bored source explained:

“She was doubled over in agony and had to be rushed to her private doctor where she was told that she was already dilated, despite not being due until July 29."

They added:

“The baby could now be here any day. Luckily for Danielle it wasn’t born in the frozen meat aisle.”

*Sniggers*

So if any good can come from this clearly fabricated story by Danielle's PR people, then let us hope it's Lloyd and O'Hara naming their first born Nectar...

Danielle Lloyd pictures, Danielle Lloyd

Comments

She's a lying bitch. She wasn't in Sainsbury's. She was in the Pound Shop. They had to drag her to the nearest supermarket so the story would read better.
PuddyTwat Wed, 23/06/2010 - 20:58
Fascinating to see her posing at the 'Sports Industry Awards'. Is shagging footballers finally getting the recognition it deserves?
slug Wed, 23/06/2010 - 08:47
lol. She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video at *******:::m a t c h r i c h . c o m::******* that is a celebrity dating site for wealt hy or sexy singles. She is really hot with bikini in that video. You will know how passionate it is after seening it!☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
garyking193 Wed, 23/06/2010 - 02:03
Considering the amount of footballers she shagged before she got knocked up, I'm suprised her fanny wasn't 2ft dilated before she was even pregnant.
sandyman Tue, 22/06/2010 - 18:00
'Danielle Lloyd has contractions in Sainsbury's'

They've started selling those now have they? They'll never catch on.
jiggerycock Tue, 22/06/2010 - 16:10
The news that this cunt is going to squeeze out another cunt, fathered by that midget wanker O'Hara makes me want to ignite my bowels
koshmar Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:56
"my mother, who's a nurse..."

*groans all round*
Lousybosomsdisplease Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:56
Mmmmm .... 'dilated'
fuckwit Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:14
Well, frankly, dilated can mean anything. You can walk around 1cm dilated for months. Having pain during your third trimester is usually wind or braxton hicks (look it up). Her private doctor (fuck, if it was that bad, why not a fucking ambulance/taxi to the labour ward of the local bog standard hospital and have a midwife declare you crapily craving attention) if he exists, is obviously a retard. She will not have that baby before July. If she does, I will eat her placenta.
stella ah trois Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:09
i can think of no-one else i'd rather have slow news brought to me during a slow news day than you, dear mopsa.
Lousybosomsdisplease Tue, 22/06/2010 - 14:51
"she was already dilated, despite not being due until July 29."

Poor little fucker probably just wants to get away from her :(
The Rev Jesse Custer Tue, 22/06/2010 - 14:39

"she was already dilated, despite not being due until July 29."

Poor little fucker probably just wants to get away from her :(
The Rev Jesse Custer Tue, 22/06/2010 - 14:39
i can think of no-one else i'd rather have slow news brought to me during a slow news day than you, dear mopsa.
Lousybosomsdisplease Tue, 22/06/2010 - 14:51
Well, frankly, dilated can mean anything. You can walk around 1cm dilated for months. Having pain during your third trimester is usually wind or braxton hicks (look it up). Her private doctor (fuck, if it was that bad, why not a fucking ambulance/taxi to the labour ward of the local bog standard hospital and have a midwife declare you crapily craving attention) if he exists, is obviously a retard. She will not have that baby before July. If she does, I will eat her placenta.
stella ah trois Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:09
Mmmmm .... 'dilated'
fuckwit Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:14
"my mother, who's a nurse..."

*groans all round*
Lousybosomsdisplease Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:56
The news that this cunt is going to squeeze out another cunt, fathered by that midget wanker O'Hara makes me want to ignite my bowels
koshmar Tue, 22/06/2010 - 15:56
'Danielle Lloyd has contractions in Sainsbury's'

They've started selling those now have they? They'll never catch on.
jiggerycock Tue, 22/06/2010 - 16:10
Considering the amount of footballers she shagged before she got knocked up, I'm suprised her fanny wasn't 2ft dilated before she was even pregnant.
sandyman Tue, 22/06/2010 - 18:00
lol. She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video at *******:::m a t c h r i c h . c o m::******* that is a celebrity dating site for wealt hy or sexy singles. She is really hot with bikini in that video. You will know how passionate it is after seening it!☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
garyking193 Wed, 23/06/2010 - 02:03
Fascinating to see her posing at the 'Sports Industry Awards'. Is shagging footballers finally getting the recognition it deserves?
slug Wed, 23/06/2010 - 08:47
She's a lying bitch. She wasn't in Sainsbury's. She was in the Pound Shop. They had to drag her to the nearest supermarket so the story would read better.
PuddyTwat Wed, 23/06/2010 - 20:58