Obviously we're yet to get hold of our copy of Danny Dyer's autobiography, 'Straight Up', (we're waiting for a book signing!) but he's already talking about taking drugs in the opening pages, how he'll probably always take them, but how there's "a difference between having the odd crafty bump up the snout as a reward for a job well done and letting it rule your life." In that case, he must hardly ever take them, etc, etc...

Especially if his latest jobs "well done" are supposed to include 'The Basement', 'Pimp' and 'Malice In Wonderland', which went straight to DVD faster than that bump up his snout!

He added:

"You can't brush it under the carpet and try and pretend it doesn't happen, because it does happen. It happens all over the world every night, millions and millions of people.

 

"And it can have a terrible effect on people, and other people can deal with it and get on with their lives and never lose a job and bring up their children, and be fine with it. I think everything in moderation."

Apart from starring in anything good.

"It's not like I'm a Blue Peter presenter is it?"

He also talks about the time he advised a man to scar his girlfirend's face in his column for Zoo magazine:

"As a joke - a bad joke - I said to the journalist 'maybe he should cut her face so no one would want her. Why did I say that? Because it's a ridiculous thing to say. It was a rubbish tasteless joke.

"Even as it came out of my mouth I wasn't proud of it. I was more embarrassed than anything. But I never thought for a second that (the Zoo journalist) would stick it in the magazine. They made a decision to print something they should never have printed and then they tried to turn on me.

"The idea of me putting my name to a column that I never wrote was a ridiculous thing for me to do, a bad decision and I learnt from it."

And even though he was recently lamenting the end of his acting career, he's insisting his new film will be a good one and that his role is so completely different from anything he has ever been typecast as.

A serial killer who kidnapps women, abuses and then murders them!

About as much chance of that being watchable as this happening...