Danny Dyer makes a fool of himself in Bristol nightclub

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Danny Dyer shows his opinion of the paparazziDanny Dyer shows his opinion of the paparazzi

Dire Dyer
Fri, 07/08/2009 - 09:00 by Mr. HM
Danny Dyer is fast become a legend, if by being a legend you mean complete liability. A mole wrote in with this lovely tale regarding the Football Factory star...

Thank you mole!

"Thought I would drop you a line about a 'meet and greet with Danny Dyer' I went to last Saturday.

Turns out that the man is a bit of a ballbag!

Me, my sisters and a friend had VIP tickets to meet Danny at Syndicate in Bristol, where he was going to be doing a DJ set. He stumbled in to the DJ booth at midnight and shouted "Bristol, I hope you are out of your faces 'cos I'm fucked!!". Not wrong there!!

He spent the next 2 hours trying to remain standing, wearing headphones that were not plugged in and sweating like a fat man in Greggs whilst some other poor bugger took control of the decks. Too much beak I reckon!!

We were due to meet him in an upstairs lounge and when he walked in he was being held up by four bouncers and his eyes were like marbles in a washing machine. However, when he walked past where me and my sisters were standing, he managed to kiss my sister on the lips and say "Hmm, that was nice" and then turn to me, kiss me and grab my right tit and give it a firm squeeze. An autograph would have done mate!

He was there all of two minutes and then had to be taken out because he couldnt cope and everybody was moaning because he was too mullered to speak.

We thought it was a bit rude of him to get off of his tit's when he knew that he was being paid to meet people.....he could of at least offered to share his goodies with us! Danny, you are not The Business."

Literally - amazing.

Danny Dyer pictures, Danny Dyer

Comments

  • Hav u noticed that the ppl who like danny hav no grasp of gramer and right in txt spk, lol.

    Luv u danny u lusch, x

    Dimmy Dire Tue, 25/05/2010 - 14:33

  • I'm just staggered by Dyer being classed as a Very Important Person. Unless VIP stands for Vile Idiotic Prick.

    Check out Mark Kermode's film reviews on BBC Radio 5 for his hilarious impression of Dhan-neee Dy-YAAAAH!

    Dimmy Dire Tue, 25/05/2010 - 14:30

  • C'mon leave it out!!

    people are alwayz slatin him down :@ i does my bloody nut inn!
    well i recon hes a proper gawjus geezer. :P
    i just coz he speaks his mind and dnt care about wat over poeople fink about him!
    leave it at that :/

    DannyDyerzGawjus Sat, 20/03/2010 - 00:13

  • Oh danny ...thats naughty...but to be fair,i agree with u guys who say,what do u girls expect,yeah he is famous and should make the effort to be more straight when meeting fans but he aint no politician who going to talk world peace with u all night long...he's a young bloke who likes going out on the lash and having a laugh..gotta love him ;)

    chelby Thu, 17/12/2009 - 01:09

  • I have to say, what on earth were you expecting of him? Surely if you are particularly partial to a gent of his particular genre, you were not expecting a discussion about topical issues and disection of the broadsheets? I would say you probably got more than got your moneys worth with that little encounter.

    ikoo Fri, 18/09/2009 - 11:04

  • photo 6 is hilaroius after reading your comment royalboob

    Sauce_Pot Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:15

  • What a cunt... how much would it cost to hire some of 'Britains Hardest Men ' to slap him around a bit? Can HM start a fund raiser? Also can someone do a photoshop job on photo 6. Its so very nearly says 'Spastic' on his shirt...

    royalboob Fri, 07/08/2009 - 19:00

  • Could HAVE - not 'could of'. And tits doesn't need an apostrophe.

    *annoys self*

    lecv Fri, 07/08/2009 - 16:34

  • Lute music, magic hammer.. brilliant :)

    Sorry, as it's a Danny Dyer story I should've said..

    THAT'S FARKIN' BRILLIANT THAT IS! SWEET AS A NUT ME OLD CHINA! NOW LET'S GET OURSELVES A COUPLA SLAGS AND.. Hey, is that coke? ... Can I have some?

    WOOOSH

    schnide Fri, 07/08/2009 - 14:49

  • pwoper naughty behaviour from Mr Dyer

    Johnny Banter Fri, 07/08/2009 - 13:37

  • Gullible idiot

    Blartmonster Fri, 07/08/2009 - 12:48

  • I don't care I still would.

    gaylord Fri, 07/08/2009 - 12:37

  • Penny probably

    wittyusername Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:38

  • I would love to know who this alleged mole was, because I don't know anyone of any credibility who would pay to see this undersized, overweight little cunt. And what sort of woman wouldn't have fucking headbutted the little shit for squeezing her tits? Slapper

    Blartmonster Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:33

  • PMFSL!

    Blartmonster Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:31

  • VIP tickets in Bristol = Valet park your tractor.

    kwebb Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:07

  • what all that lot said

    sugartits Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:04

  • Most pointless story ever.

    Let me get this straight, a couple of thunder thighed slags get (VIP?!) tickets to see Danny Dyer, and end up disappointed when he doesn't wow them with his encyclopedic knowledge on 16th century poetry and lute music?

    Maybe you should have taken Peter Sutcliffe up on his offer when he gave you VIP tickets to see him and his magic hammer.

    Fucksocks09 Fri, 07/08/2009 - 10:53

  • What Boffer and yogi said.

    ArfurDaley Fri, 07/08/2009 - 10:13

  • Danny Dyer....the root of the plague of our times.... the pseudo-cockneys

    GossipGirlxoxo Fri, 07/08/2009 - 10:08

  • What kind of terrible cunt voluntarily goes to meet a prick like danny dyer?

    Fucking morons.

    Boffer Fri, 07/08/2009 - 09:41

  • Why anyone in their right mind would willingly go to a 'VIP Meet & Greet' with Danny Dyer is beyond me. That's the most amazing part of this sorry tale.

    yogithebear Fri, 07/08/2009 - 09:11

  • Why anyone in their right mind would willingly go to a 'VIP Meet & Greet' with Danny Dyer is beyond me. That's the most amazing part of this sorry tale.

    yogithebear Fri, 07/08/2009 - 09:11

  • What kind of terrible cunt voluntarily goes to meet a prick like danny dyer?

    Fucking morons.

    Boffer Fri, 07/08/2009 - 09:41

  • Danny Dyer....the root of the plague of our times.... the pseudo-cockneys

    GossipGirlxoxo Fri, 07/08/2009 - 10:08

  • What Boffer and yogi said.

    ArfurDaley Fri, 07/08/2009 - 10:13

  • Most pointless story ever.

    Let me get this straight, a couple of thunder thighed slags get (VIP?!) tickets to see Danny Dyer, and end up disappointed when he doesn't wow them with his encyclopedic knowledge on 16th century poetry and lute music?

    Maybe you should have taken Peter Sutcliffe up on his offer when he gave you VIP tickets to see him and his magic hammer.

    Fucksocks09 Fri, 07/08/2009 - 10:53

  • what all that lot said

    sugartits Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:04

  • VIP tickets in Bristol = Valet park your tractor.

    kwebb Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:07

  • PMFSL!

    Blartmonster Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:31

  • I would love to know who this alleged mole was, because I don't know anyone of any credibility who would pay to see this undersized, overweight little cunt. And what sort of woman wouldn't have fucking headbutted the little shit for squeezing her tits? Slapper

    Blartmonster Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:33

  • Penny probably

    wittyusername Fri, 07/08/2009 - 11:38

  • I don't care I still would.

    gaylord Fri, 07/08/2009 - 12:37

  • Gullible idiot

    Blartmonster Fri, 07/08/2009 - 12:48

  • pwoper naughty behaviour from Mr Dyer

    Johnny Banter Fri, 07/08/2009 - 13:37

  • Lute music, magic hammer.. brilliant :)

    Sorry, as it's a Danny Dyer story I should've said..

    THAT'S FARKIN' BRILLIANT THAT IS! SWEET AS A NUT ME OLD CHINA! NOW LET'S GET OURSELVES A COUPLA SLAGS AND.. Hey, is that coke? ... Can I have some?

    WOOOSH

    schnide Fri, 07/08/2009 - 14:49

  • Could HAVE - not 'could of'. And tits doesn't need an apostrophe.

    *annoys self*

    lecv Fri, 07/08/2009 - 16:34

  • What a cunt... how much would it cost to hire some of 'Britains Hardest Men ' to slap him around a bit? Can HM start a fund raiser? Also can someone do a photoshop job on photo 6. Its so very nearly says 'Spastic' on his shirt...

    royalboob Fri, 07/08/2009 - 19:00

  • photo 6 is hilaroius after reading your comment royalboob

    Sauce_Pot Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:15

  • I have to say, what on earth were you expecting of him? Surely if you are particularly partial to a gent of his particular genre, you were not expecting a discussion about topical issues and disection of the broadsheets? I would say you probably got more than got your moneys worth with that little encounter.

    ikoo Fri, 18/09/2009 - 11:04

  • Oh danny ...thats naughty...but to be fair,i agree with u guys who say,what do u girls expect,yeah he is famous and should make the effort to be more straight when meeting fans but he aint no politician who going to talk world peace with u all night long...he's a young bloke who likes going out on the lash and having a laugh..gotta love him ;)

    chelby Thu, 17/12/2009 - 01:09

  • C'mon leave it out!!

    people are alwayz slatin him down :@ i does my bloody nut inn!
    well i recon hes a proper gawjus geezer. :P
    i just coz he speaks his mind and dnt care about wat over poeople fink about him!
    leave it at that :/

    DannyDyerzGawjus Sat, 20/03/2010 - 00:13

  • I'm just staggered by Dyer being classed as a Very Important Person. Unless VIP stands for Vile Idiotic Prick.

    Check out Mark Kermode's film reviews on BBC Radio 5 for his hilarious impression of Dhan-neee Dy-YAAAAH!

    Dimmy Dire Tue, 25/05/2010 - 14:30

  • Hav u noticed that the ppl who like danny hav no grasp of gramer and right in txt spk, lol.

    Luv u danny u lusch, x

    Dimmy Dire Tue, 25/05/2010 - 14:33

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