Zach Galifiniakis is a very funny man. He might look a bit like a Dutch lighthouse keeper but Between Two Ferns is an office favourite here at HM. Even Robert Downey Jr. has had his moments, although he was so smug in the last Iron Man, anyone who didn't want to punch him in his stupid, grinning, robot face has the patience of a saint (and the judgement of a meth addict). 

However even M.Night Shyamalan would have deserved a better turnout than Due Date received on the red carpet last night. Not a single recognisable face arrived. Guy Ritchie was the closest it ever got to credible, and that's a sentence you won't see very often.

X Factor rejects were out in the their droves, wandering from camera to camera like the fame-addicted hacks they are, while Edith Bowman turned up wearing a set of sheer curtains and a key. And why not.

Notable amongst the arrivals from Simon Cowells pop grotto were Belle Amie (one of them's called Geneva for christ's sake), John Adeleye and FYD, one of whom seemed to have a spine made entirely of chipolatas and snakes.

No-one should have to deal with that at a premiere. No-one.