Wild Horses won't shut her up
Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:06 by HM writer

Ronnie Wood and Ekaterina Ivanova split up on Thursday, so it comes almost four days too late that his 20-year-old Russian lover sold her story lying on a chaise lounge in some saucy lingerie...

And it comes two days after her nan claimed that Ronnie probably couldn't get it up...

But it wasn't as sleazy as we had anticipated (as unsleazy as selling private details about your private relationship can be) and she sold her story to Hello! magazine, instead of the obligatory NOTW... Which is almost high brow in comparison. Almost.

And the former cocktail waitress is only showing slightly more than an average amount of leg in a dress, which she's posing in, rather than some skimpy La Senza underwear. But she's claiming that she dumped 62-year-old Ronnie (we thought it was the other way around) and has described the Rolling Stone's guitarist as an "evil goblin". Well we all know what he looks like, but what we really want to know now is, as her nan implied to The Sun on Saturday, is he er, functioning "below the belt"?

It looks like someone is going to have offer her more cash for that kind of nformation...

Ekaterina told Hello!:

"The whole thing started off like a fairytale. But then it felt like an evil fairytale. When Ronnie and I moved into a tower my friends were laughing and saying I was like the princess trapped in the tower.

 

"He went all Jekyll and Hyde. I'd be trapped there with an evil goblin king."

And she swears that she was physically attracted to Ronnie, but probably not if he hadn't been in the Rolling Stones.

She added:

"I've always liked guys in bands, skinny and rugged. He was the ultimate. He would do things on the spot, which was exciting. When we met, it was like we were the same age. And he sort of stayed there while I've grown into a woman."

 

"He was like a child with tantrums when he was drunk, throwing water bottles and doing impressions of my voice.

 

"It was like trying to keep a child under control. In the end I was so unimpressed by everything."

Then she did a 'Tiger Woods's alleged mistress speech' and insisted:

"I'm not materialistic. I'm now living in a small flat."

"I've realised age does matter. I'm hanging out with guys my own age - we have things in common."

As if she'd never noticed the 42-year age gap until they split up. And hey look, if she really likes old men in music, she could always hook up with Cliff Richard, we're almost certain he's still single. Or Chris de Burgh, he appears to be on the look out...

 

  • He does look Hoggle from Labyrinth.

    mynicehat Tue, 15/12/2009 - 13:20
  • She's just pissed cos she couldn't prise open his wallet. And a girl's got to make her money somehow. Thanks to Ronnie's dead wood, she'll now end up with a bigger pension than him.

    PuddyTwat Tue, 15/12/2009 - 01:37
  • She proberbly got tired of goblin the goblin.

    carbon cowboy Mon, 14/12/2009 - 22:47
  • Jesus fucking wept. DOES IT MATTER? She's from the sarf then, and you're more than a bit of a cunt for knowing that factoid

    Blartmonster Mon, 14/12/2009 - 20:43
  • 'Pricey' is from Brighton. More fucking unwarranted Essexism

    Queenofthebongobong Mon, 14/12/2009 - 18:56
  • Oh I know Blarty, bleeding bane of my life those things.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 15:22
  • Does it really fucking matter where she's from? The biggest harlot of all comes from fucking Essex under the moniker of Price, remember. Slappers are slappers, regardless of nationality.

    And as far as I am aware Ivanova is from Kazakhstan - сәлем!

    Blartmonster Mon, 14/12/2009 - 15:11
  • Yes, those Tommee Tippee mugs don't hold up by themselves you know...

    Blartmonster Mon, 14/12/2009 - 15:04
  • Yes but then he gets all "scratchy" with the other kids

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 14:49
  • You could always try taking your mittens off, it might help.

    enile Mon, 14/12/2009 - 14:47
  • Fafcking hell pressed the report button again instead of replyiit'ss my damn thing the buttons are too tiny.

    whereswaldo Mon, 14/12/2009 - 14:27
  • I was just thinking about this (whilst having a crap if anyones interested) and I almost feel sorry for the drug-addled fool.....he's approaching the time of life when ideally you should be surrounded by a loving supportive wife and whatever kids you may have popped out between you but instead he's gonna be wandering around his big castle (and it is a castle, I've seen it next to the A3) drinking himself into an earlier grave whilst his wife gets on with her life and his kids try & decide whether or not they hate him.

    Still I bet she was worth it eh Ronnie ?

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:44
  • Watch this space - bet Ronnie suddenly realises "what a fool I've been" and pleads with Jo to take him back. Women don't need men like him.

    whatthe. Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:35
  • Yes I'm sure that this money-grubbing little russian harlot "chose" to end her relationship with Ronnie Wood (millionaire) after all who needs a life of comfort, jet-setting & parties ? Oh no it's much better to keep your honour intact (a bit late for that by the way love) and ditch him due to his temper tantrums......silly cow. Now fuck off back to being a milkmaid or whatever the fuck it is you were doing before your brush with fame. Peasant.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:29
  • Yes I'm sure that this money-grubbing little russian harlot "chose" to end her relationship with Ronnie Wood (millionaire) after all who needs a life of comfort, jet-setting & parties ? Oh no it's much better to keep your honour intact (a bit late for that by the way love) and ditch him due to his temper tantrums......silly cow. Now fuck off back to being a milkmaid or whatever the fuck it is you were doing before your brush with fame. Peasant.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:29
  • Watch this space - bet Ronnie suddenly realises "what a fool I've been" and pleads with Jo to take him back. Women don't need men like him.

    whatthe. Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:35
  • I was just thinking about this (whilst having a crap if anyones interested) and I almost feel sorry for the drug-addled fool.....he's approaching the time of life when ideally you should be surrounded by a loving supportive wife and whatever kids you may have popped out between you but instead he's gonna be wandering around his big castle (and it is a castle, I've seen it next to the A3) drinking himself into an earlier grave whilst his wife gets on with her life and his kids try & decide whether or not they hate him.

    Still I bet she was worth it eh Ronnie ?

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 12:44
  • Fafcking hell pressed the report button again instead of replyiit'ss my damn thing the buttons are too tiny.

    whereswaldo Mon, 14/12/2009 - 14:27
  • You could always try taking your mittens off, it might help.

    enile Mon, 14/12/2009 - 14:47
  • Yes but then he gets all "scratchy" with the other kids

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 14:49
  • Yes, those Tommee Tippee mugs don't hold up by themselves you know...

    Blartmonster Mon, 14/12/2009 - 15:04
  • Does it really fucking matter where she's from? The biggest harlot of all comes from fucking Essex under the moniker of Price, remember. Slappers are slappers, regardless of nationality.

    And as far as I am aware Ivanova is from Kazakhstan - сәлем!

    Blartmonster Mon, 14/12/2009 - 15:11
  • Oh I know Blarty, bleeding bane of my life those things.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 14/12/2009 - 15:22
  • 'Pricey' is from Brighton. More fucking unwarranted Essexism

    Queenofthebongobong Mon, 14/12/2009 - 18:56
  • Jesus fucking wept. DOES IT MATTER? She's from the sarf then, and you're more than a bit of a cunt for knowing that factoid

    Blartmonster Mon, 14/12/2009 - 20:43
  • She proberbly got tired of goblin the goblin.

    carbon cowboy Mon, 14/12/2009 - 22:47
  • She's just pissed cos she couldn't prise open his wallet. And a girl's got to make her money somehow. Thanks to Ronnie's dead wood, she'll now end up with a bigger pension than him.

    PuddyTwat Tue, 15/12/2009 - 01:37
  • He does look Hoggle from Labyrinth.

    mynicehat Tue, 15/12/2009 - 13:20

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