If you thought that the country's obsession with the Royal Wedding would mean that there would be no celebrity gossip whatsoever and, even if there were, it would be dissolved amongst the plethora of patriotic poppcock, then you were wrong. Not only has Frankie Sandford made the scandalous revelation that she "wants longer hair", fellow littleboy-haired female Emma Watson has come out and revealed that - contary to reports - she wasn't bullied at university. Okay, you were right - there's sweet fuck all showbiz news today. Thanks Wills and Kate.

This whole debacle started when some pesky journo (not us, for once) claimed that Emma Watson had quit her studies at Brown University in Rhode Island after being bullied by her fellow students. Although made up, the story was actually quite amusing, and included tales of her being taunted with film references, such as people shouting "three points for Gryffindor!" whenever she got an answer right in class. When bullying is as witty as that it should be welcomed with open arms.

Anyway, Hermione's put a stop to the stories and used her official website to write a message to all her fans (i.e. none of us), explaining that she was never bullied. Because everyone loves her too much.

"Dear all,

 

I felt the need to let you know the reason I took a semester off from Brown had nothing to do with bullying as the media have been suggesting recently. I have never been bullied in my life and certainly never at Brown. This '10 points to Gryffindor' incident never even happened. (AHEM - it was three points to Gryffindor, get it right) I feel the need to say this because accusing Brown students of something as serious as bullying and this causing me to leave seems beyond unfair.

 

Please don't try and speculate about what I might do in September - no one can possibly know because I don't even know yet! Like my fellow Brown students I am trying to figure out my third year and whether or not I will spend it abroad (this is common).

 

Hope you are all doing good.

 

Take care,

 

Love Emma xx"

Two kisses? Is that all?

Rude bitch.