Last time we wrote about the Eurovision song contest we were accused of terrible, vicious, unimaginative racism. Apparently it's no longer acceptable to make hackneyed jokes about the Irish, in fact even the mention of luck, height, gold pots or hubristic bankruptcy now brings a stony faced stare from even the most jolly Emerald Islander. So, this time round we'll ignore the whole national side of the Eurovision and concentrate entirely on the music, because that's what it's all about, isn't it?

Hopefully not. Don't get us wrong, they're a lovely bunch of lads, even that troubled soul Lee Ryan, but holy moly can they Peter Sutcliffe a tune, and we're talking about the sexual side of his shenanigans too. Boys, boys, boys. Sticking your hands down your trousers 'for the ladies' is one thing, but then singing afterwards? No.

Come on, there's a reason you haven't made any music for a while, and it's not because you were on 'creative hiatus' (any more so than you've ever been) it's because the British people were jolly sick of you and your soporific warbling. 

Basically, what we're trying to say is that no-one wants to listen to you anymore, so trying to shoe-horn your tune into the national consciousness by taking the Eurovision route won't change anyone's opinion. For the better. Anyway, 22 plays in a month is actually pretty good for your most recent musical turdlet, a piece of 'music' that was fairly lucky to have even made it out of the studio, so stop whining please Simon (via The Mirror):

"We’re trying to do this for our country and our country isn’t backing us."

No we're not. What a bunch of bastards we are. Of course, the good old BBC put it best when they released this statement in reply to Webb's whining:

"Radio 2 premiered Blue’s Eurovision song on the Graham Norton show and has played the song across the schedule where editorially appropriate. It is not currently on the playlist but it may be considered, on merit, in due course.”

Considered on merit? Good luck with that, fellas.