We're not sure which we're least surprised by - allegations that Paris Hilton has a bucket fanny or that she smuggled drugs out of the US in it.... Not that these claims could possibly be true (just like all those other stories this summer too).

Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis (last seen allegedly beating up Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole) is frantically trying to block a book by a former employee, Ryan Simkin, which makes all sorts of claims - the most sensational of which involves Paris Hilton, her vagina (as seen in Girls Gone Wild stills above), some drugs and Camels (the cigs, not the animals - although both could probably fit up the aforementioned vadge).

According to Simkin, and as reported by Gawker, Francis wanted twenty hits of ecstasy and four 8-Balls of coke smuggling out of the country on the plane to France via Paris (the girl, not the city - although it could've been both) - and he was put in charge of the operation...

Well, first he needed me to go to the office and get a check from Michael, the controller, for the money; then I needed to go buy the shit and get it to Paris before her flight. I asked how the hell she was going to get all of that out of the country on a plane, and he said not to worry about it, that she would handle it.

…I enlisted my roommate to help me out, and he reluctantly agreed. She was down in Culver City at Smashbox studios, which was about a 40 minute drive for us. We sucked it up and made the drive. We pulled into the parking lot, and as we got out, we could see Paparazzi camped out across the street, just waiting for her to leave. We walked in, and she was right there, in mid photo shoot, wearing a nice little sun dress and holding her dog. I knew her from Mardi Gras and from seeing her out a couple times, so she waved at me when I walked in.

…We walked in, and she was naked. She was waiting for her next dress or whatever, but had already taken off her old dress. For the record, I’m a big fan of that move. She asked me if it was any trouble getting it, and I told her not really. I took out the Camel box and handed it to her, and she thanked me. We talked for a minute or two about the apparent difficulty of procuring those drugs in Europe. I asked if she was flying private, and she said, “No, commercial.” And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.

Poor Paris, we bet she wants this book to vanish, maybe all copies up her vagina with a couple of boxes of Camel Lights for company...

Anyway, now we know what San Diego was named after at least.