Hollywood is alight with tales of infidelity. Rumours have been circulating about Ashton Kutcher's open relationship with his official guardian, Demi Moore, while David Arquette, after admitting then denying everything since his split with Courtney Cox, seems to be slipping inexorably towards insanity.

After being caught grinding with a stripper dwarf, he then rang up Howard Stern's show for the second time hoping to explain his first bonkers call, you know, the one where he rang up a national radio show to speak about how his wife had stopped giving him AAA to her poon. All sounds very reasonable to us. 

Oh David. Thankfully the GQ Gentleman's Ball wasn't (as far as we know) for any kind of charity, so we've got no problem categorically explaining what a fantastically average turn-out it was, and what a bunch of fruitcakes the attendees were.

Alongside the three superstars mentioned above were Nick Cannon, husband to the now definitely pregnant (thanks Thandie) Mariah Carey, the king of domestic violence himself, Chris Brown, a very Milfy/Gilfy/GGilfy Debbie Harry, Shannon Doherty and finally Montel Williams, a man who will bully and browbeat you until you're so petrified you don't know what to do or where you are. Then he'll expect you to thank him.

More Charlie Sheen please...