Oh my god, you're right, I'd better go and kill myself now to stop the sickness spreading....

You looked at all 20 pictures did you?

What a prick.

She was much better when she was with Syd Little. Come on, Lisa, tell us how famous celebrities start their cars.

Oi HM,

will you PLEASE stop showing pictures of that twat Alex Reid in drag (17 & 19)

What about a new TV Show 'I'm a pubic louse, get me out of here' in which 10 famous pubic lice are parachuted into Lisa Riley's pants and have to live in the sweaty, smelly jungle like atmosphere for three weeks until they are voted out or crushed. Filmed in HD of course.

Perhaps marginally more interesting than a bunch of has-beens/wannabes/complete cunts swanning about in the gardens of a luxury hotel.

finger right on the media pulse there. Lisa Pieley last presented you've been framed in 2003

Anyone using "lol" should be stigmatised too!

I never watch ITV, and I certainly won't be making any exceptions for this shower of shite.

It's not science. It's "karma".

A timely bush fire would make good TV, camp fire spark sets fire to Lisas pubes, she runs around sceaming " my fucking bush is on fire" which sets fire to the jungle , Pants and Deckthecunt the Loverble Geordie midgets are barbied in the blazing bullshit

who is on line?
Its you innit, the fat bird with diabities
Nice to meet you at last
yeah Id do you - once

fits the bill perfectly then doesn't he!

I'm concerned that in your description, you don't mention having used any kind of impermeable membrane beneath. You might get trouble with weeds and, without a seepage point, flooding and possibly subsidence would concern me. Shame.

Preferred that whole 1984 thing myself. Juliahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Now, while Madonna, a woman of a certain age, looks like a bionicle, Annie looks just gorgeous still.. Now I've said that, she'll go and get some grapefruits. Sigh.

Mitch Winehouse should fuck right off, the waste of space.

Eugenics - I loved that version of Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), which is what Jordan's demise would be,....

mmmm eugenics I think they call it where a scientific observation is distored into ideology- v dodgy to claim that the poor lass died due to something inherent to do with her as a person. Which is why of course you are posting here :)

Shuddup you slapper, it's a good 20cm hardcore as a base and 6cm sandstone 30x30 slabs on top if you must know

meh

Oh come on - there's a world of difference from total (as in never before seen) strangers coming on here and putting into gruesome, uneasy detail about what they would like to do to celeb X and actor Y as their opening gambit, whereas we old hands have been peddling our detritus for some years now; I'm no closer now to inserting a sharp object into Jordan's body (and from what I can gather, she has plenty of experience of that) than I am to playing for the Uzbekistan U21 lacrosse team - which considering I am neither Uzbek, nor under 21, nor proficient at lacrosse, simply ain't gonna happen. Lighten up, FFS

Oh I don't know - you have to start somewhere. Did you use block paving or york stone?

You are old fashioned :) The old ones are the best.

Good to see you back Blart. Got that patio laid yet? Used lots of lime in the mix?

On the bright side - look what happened to Jade after she decided revisiting her reality TV breadwinner the second time.

Hitherto unseen levels of public hatred, cunt cancer, and then death.

I say, in the name of Darwin, it is fate.

Not reactionary, but you do sometimes get comedy confused with borderline psychosis. I'm just not massively keen on anonymous people coming on here saying they want to kill people - call me old fashioned.

Seeing as the public macheting of Katie P was deemed too tasteless for the HM public and duly deleted, how about this morsel?

"Fat cunt off Emmerdale goes on enforced jungle diet, sponsored by Gregg's Pies"

Reactionary fucker you are, HM

There are some big units in that line-up, I reckon the witchetty grub is soon to be on the endangered list.