Well if the rumours are to be believed, Katie Price has been offered a massive £450,000 to return to the jungle. I don't think I could take a fortnight of her moany old face to be honest. So who else is supposedly lined up for I'm A Celebrity 2009:
- Lock Stock actor Vinnie Jones
- Ex Page 3 lesbian Samantha Fox
- Snooker champ Jimmy White
- How clean is your house cow Kim Woodburn
- Ex Kerry Katona husband Brian McFadden
- Father of Amy, Mitch Winehouse
- Rentagob Brian Blessed
- Coronation Street actor Bruce Jones
- International Sex Symbol and You've Been Framed presenter Lisa Riley
These are all obviously just rumours, but as past years have proved - I'd expect at least a third of these to be correct.
Jimmy White FOR THE WIN!
Thoughts?
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Katie Price looks like bad parody of herself at book launch, talks adoption
Katie Price helps launch Gary Cockerill's book, celebrities fail to turn up
‘Singer’ and ‘dancer’ Katie Price can’t sing. Or dance. Oh dear. 
‘Singer’ and ‘dancer’ Katie Price can’t sing. Or dance. Oh dear. - ‘Singer’ and ‘dancer’ Katie Price can’t sing. Or dance. Oh dear.
COMMENTS (29)
Jordan? it's all about desperate grabs for ad revenue so of course she'll be in. She's quite 'current' and hateful.
Anyone who watches this supports ITV and is thus a cunt to be ridiculed and stigmatised.
(it IS on ITV isn't it? lol)
Anyone using "lol" should be stigmatised too!
There are some big units in that line-up, I reckon the witchetty grub is soon to be on the endangered list.
meh
Seeing as the public macheting of Katie P was deemed too tasteless for the HM public and duly deleted, how about this morsel?
"Fat cunt off Emmerdale goes on enforced jungle diet, sponsored by Gregg's Pies"
Reactionary fucker you are, HM
Not reactionary, but you do sometimes get comedy confused with borderline psychosis. I'm just not massively keen on anonymous people coming on here saying they want to kill people - call me old fashioned.
You are old fashioned :) The old ones are the best.
Good to see you back Blart. Got that patio laid yet? Used lots of lime in the mix?
Oh come on - there's a world of difference from total (as in never before seen) strangers coming on here and putting into gruesome, uneasy detail about what they would like to do to celeb X and actor Y as their opening gambit, whereas we old hands have been peddling our detritus for some years now; I'm no closer now to inserting a sharp object into Jordan's body (and from what I can gather, she has plenty of experience of that) than I am to playing for the Uzbekistan U21 lacrosse team - which considering I am neither Uzbek, nor under 21, nor proficient at lacrosse, simply ain't gonna happen. Lighten up, FFS
Oh I don't know - you have to start somewhere. Did you use block paving or york stone?
Shuddup you slapper, it's a good 20cm hardcore as a base and 6cm sandstone 30x30 slabs on top if you must know
I'm concerned that in your description, you don't mention having used any kind of impermeable membrane beneath. You might get trouble with weeds and, without a seepage point, flooding and possibly subsidence would concern me. Shame.
On the bright side - look what happened to Jade after she decided revisiting her reality TV breadwinner the second time.
Hitherto unseen levels of public hatred, cunt cancer, and then death.
I say, in the name of Darwin, it is fate.
mmmm eugenics I think they call it where a scientific observation is distored into ideology- v dodgy to claim that the poor lass died due to something inherent to do with her as a person. Which is why of course you are posting here :)
It's not science. It's "karma".
Eugenics - I loved that version of Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), which is what Jordan's demise would be,....
Preferred that whole 1984 thing myself. Juliahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Now, while Madonna, a woman of a certain age, looks like a bionicle, Annie looks just gorgeous still.. Now I've said that, she'll go and get some grapefruits. Sigh.
Mitch Winehouse should fuck right off, the waste of space.
fits the bill perfectly then doesn't he!
who is on line?
Its you innit, the fat bird with diabities
Nice to meet you at last
yeah Id do you - once
A timely bush fire would make good TV, camp fire spark sets fire to Lisas pubes, she runs around sceaming " my fucking bush is on fire" which sets fire to the jungle , Pants and Deckthecunt the Loverble Geordie midgets are barbied in the blazing bullshit
I never watch ITV, and I certainly won't be making any exceptions for this shower of shite.
finger right on the media pulse there. Lisa Pieley last presented you've been framed in 2003
Ah the depths to which desperate hasbeens will sink to reclaim their famewhore glory! Eating kangaroo shit and maggots for a stint as replacement presenter on the Paul O'Grady Show!
What about a new TV Show 'I'm a pubic louse, get me out of here' in which 10 famous pubic lice are parachuted into Lisa Riley's pants and have to live in the sweaty, smelly jungle like atmosphere for three weeks until they are voted out or crushed. Filmed in HD of course.
Perhaps marginally more interesting than a bunch of has-beens/wannabes/complete cunts swanning about in the gardens of a luxury hotel.
Oi HM,
will you PLEASE stop showing pictures of that twat Alex Reid in drag (17 & 19)
You looked at all 20 pictures did you?
What a prick.
Oh my god, you're right, I'd better go and kill myself now to stop the sickness spreading....
She was much better when she was with Syd Little. Come on, Lisa, tell us how famous celebrities start their cars.
When I first saw the list I assumed it was people that had already been on. Lisa Riley shouldnt be allowed on because she will either lose weight and then we'll all have to be seeing ironically more of her (mercifully she's been sitting at home making decoupage prada shopping bags- shurely Luis Vuitton must be giving her cash to rubbish its rival there..) OR she eats another contestant cue indistinct night vision footage of snuffling and stifled screams -lets hope its Vinnie - even Lisa couldnt eat a whole Blessed in one go.