Jai McDowall was last night voted the winner of Britain's Got Talent 2011. We can hear the rest of the world scream WHO??????? as we write this. The man who sang an Evanesence song in his semi final performance was somehow voted the winner of the entire competition by the Great British public. We're shocked, but we take solace in the fact he's not a 12 year-old Justin Bieber lookalike.

Jai's win proves just how pathetic the talent showcased on Britain's Got Talent this year was. Of course he's got an amazing and powerful voice, probably even more impressive than SuBo. But would he win X Factor? No.

First of all, his name's Jai. Secondly, and we don't know if we have mentioned this yet, but he sang an EVANESENCE song the other night. Thirdly, he wore a t-shirt, a leather jacket and a pair of jeans to honour the biggest moment of his life. And finally, his name's Jai. Is he going to have a long and successful career once this is all over? No.

So why have the public voted him the winner of Britain's Got Talent?

Well that's probably got something to do with the fact he was up against a middle-aged, grey-haired man doing a dance, two people banging some keys on a piano and a bald man doing the worst impression of Simon Cowell the world has ever heard... in front of Simon Cowell.

And talking of Simon Cowell, whatever happened to his young man Ronan Parke? If somebody offered, we would have put our mortgage and a lung or two on Ronan winning BGT this year. But now Jai's pipped him by a so-called 2.5%, we can't help but feel his loss was an inevitability after the kerfuffle with the 'grooming' accusations this week. Did Ronan lose because the accuser promised us all he was a certainty to win? Was this Simon's way of definitively rubbishing the claims?

Of course not! Well done Jai. You are a lovely man and a deserved winner of the worst BGT final there has ever been. Enjoy your 10 minute career.