In what must count as the most desperate ploy for attention of all time, Jeff Brazier has told anyone who'll listen that he can lick the tip of his penis. How it came up in conversation, or why it was originally printed anywhere other than in the local pub toilets is a total mystery. We suspect even Jeff's PR's must have cringed a little bit at this one.

However, it takes courage to attempt to promote a client using anything this crude and pointless, so we'll tell you that Jeff is currently a contestant on Dancing On Ice, may or may not have a book coming out and is probably singing on something somewhere.

So, you probably want to know exactly what Jeff said about playing Just The Tip by himself. Well here it is (via hell or something similar):

"I've not performed it for some time, but it originated from when I was an apprentice at Leyton Orient.

 

"The older pros had noticed that I had a talent, and one night, when I was on reserves, one of them said to me, 'I bet you could probably suck your own thingy, couldn't you?' And then another one went, 'Go on, try it!'"

 

"I did, yeah. I was young and pretty impressionable. I managed to touch myself with my tongue. I didn't spend too long down there, I have to say. It was just making the contact that was the impressive part. But I think it was just to do with being young and flexible.

 

"I've not tried recently. I did it for everyone when I was on Shipwrecked. We were all a bit down 'cos it had been raining, and the cameras were off, so I was like, 'Hey everyone, have a look at this!'... It's legendary!"

 

"I feel lucky that I've been given a good few inches above average."

So do we Jeff. So do we.