Jesus Luz set to release a pop record this spring after Madonna performs miracle

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Jesus Luz future SuperstarJesus Luz future Superstar

Jesus - oh Christ - Superstar?
Thu, 25/02/2010 - 12:36 by Harry Bow

The miracle being that she was able to dial the number of Warner's HQ on her phone with such wizened fingers...

Having learnt nothing about nepotism from her role in Guy Ritchie's Cast Away, Madonna has reportedly used her sinewy muscle to secure a record deal for boyfriend Jesus Luz. Although we've previously seen the 23-year-old pulling shapes behind the decks (tour bookings from his girlfriend, naturally), The Sun reports that this will the first time he's been able to showcase his real musical talent, with a source explaining: 

"Madonna was determined to give Jesus all the help she can.

 

"She holds a lot of sway at Warners, where she had a deal until very recently. But getting him on the books wasn't completely plain-sailing.

 

"There was a little give and take between her and execs, but a compromise was eventually settled upon." 

  

"Madonna really wants Jesus's career to take off.

 

"She's been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can."

And hopefully Paul Oakenfold is in the front of her 'Filofax' (ask your parents, kids)...

(thanks Bitch Magnet)

At least Jesus already has his pop star styling sorted out though.

Jesus Luz pictures, Madonna and Jesus Luz, Jesus Luz, Madonna, madonna

Comments

  • He "spins decks". So, the question begs, what the fuck does he do that will result in him releasing a CD? Will it be a "Best of Ibiza 1998" or a "Dad Rocks!" compilation???

    koshmar Tue, 02/03/2010 - 17:00

  • I look into his eyes and see Jaycee Lee Dugard. He clearly has Stockholm Syndrome. The only question is...did she grab him from a bus stop 18 years ago and is only now letting him out in public or was it amore recent event? Either way...somebody help.

    psammmead Sat, 27/02/2010 - 14:31

  • Oh God it's Nick Kamen Mark II. They'll lumber Hey-soos with some high-pitched number where he gyrates to a sillouette of Madonna in the background. He should be thinking about moving into acting. He's obviously gifted if he can persuade the old girl that he genuinely fancies her.

    PuddyTwat Fri, 26/02/2010 - 11:59

  • Yay! Minipops are back!

    shitthebed Fri, 26/02/2010 - 09:32

  • How about Mika? .....oh, I see your point.

    Yumma Thu, 25/02/2010 - 15:09

  • you don't really see curly hair so much these days. or talent come to think of it. i say let good looking people run the world, that's my view.

    switch Thu, 25/02/2010 - 14:51

  • And the angel Gabriel said unto the gathered flocks:

    "Madonna was determined to give Jesus all the help she can.

    "Madonna really wants Jesus's career to take off.

    "She's been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can." Sadly, having admitted she was only 'like a virgin', her main man has cut off her direct line.

    All will be well though if we get him riding on a donkey and raising the dead. Oh that last bit - tick. That hand cannot be anything but from beyond the grave.

    stella ah trois Thu, 25/02/2010 - 13:34

  • And the angel Gabriel said unto the gathered flocks:

    "Madonna was determined to give Jesus all the help she can.

    "Madonna really wants Jesus's career to take off.

    "She's been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can." Sadly, having admitted she was only 'like a virgin', her main man has cut off her direct line.

    All will be well though if we get him riding on a donkey and raising the dead. Oh that last bit - tick. That hand cannot be anything but from beyond the grave.

    stella ah trois Thu, 25/02/2010 - 13:34

  • you don't really see curly hair so much these days. or talent come to think of it. i say let good looking people run the world, that's my view.

    switch Thu, 25/02/2010 - 14:51

  • How about Mika? .....oh, I see your point.

    Yumma Thu, 25/02/2010 - 15:09

  • Yay! Minipops are back!

    shitthebed Fri, 26/02/2010 - 09:32

  • Oh God it's Nick Kamen Mark II. They'll lumber Hey-soos with some high-pitched number where he gyrates to a sillouette of Madonna in the background. He should be thinking about moving into acting. He's obviously gifted if he can persuade the old girl that he genuinely fancies her.

    PuddyTwat Fri, 26/02/2010 - 11:59

  • I look into his eyes and see Jaycee Lee Dugard. He clearly has Stockholm Syndrome. The only question is...did she grab him from a bus stop 18 years ago and is only now letting him out in public or was it amore recent event? Either way...somebody help.

    psammmead Sat, 27/02/2010 - 14:31

  • He "spins decks". So, the question begs, what the fuck does he do that will result in him releasing a CD? Will it be a "Best of Ibiza 1998" or a "Dad Rocks!" compilation???

    koshmar Tue, 02/03/2010 - 17:00

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