What a bunch of penises, in their new condoms
Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:16 by John Hill

Professional dancers JLS have decided the best course of action for them right now, aside from hanging out with Georgio is to concentrate on their sponsorship deals at let their music sort itself out.

That's why they've decided to work with Durex to release their very own condom range. Apparently JLS' music is so unbelievably sexy and dirty that their fans start uncontrollably banging each other senseless as soon as any of their songs come on. 

The range, called 'Just Love Safe' is being released as part of their JLS Foundation, and despite not actually making any sense (there is some hypocrisy in us criticising their grammar, but still) we're sure their fans will be over the moon at the idea of having Marvin on the end of their penis. We certainly are.

Marvin, who seems to be the spokesman of the group, seemingly by proxy as the other three can't actually string a sentence together unless they get at least a week to learn it first, had this to say about their stunning move into the prophylactic industry:

'We used to get underwear thrown at us on stage, now we expect flying condom boxes! But it's important to put your love in a glove.' 

He's a real card that Marvin, eh? Twat.

  • I didn't think Gayers bred?

    ken tate Mon, 13/09/2010 - 00:25
  • Like their condoms (probably) this venture leaves a bad taste in one's mouth. Still they've got their pensions to think about so why not?

    PuddyTwat Fri, 10/09/2010 - 18:25
  • trojan is a condom in america if i'm not mistaken.

    andy922 Fri, 10/09/2010 - 14:45
  • I'm not sure it's right putting the Trojan logo on the same page as JLS but I take your point.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 10/09/2010 - 13:44
  • Don't know why, but that really reminds me of the Trojan records logo...

    Which brings us back to putting your love in a glove I suppose...

    dandyboy Fri, 10/09/2010 - 12:54
  • "put your love in a glove" is this a euphimism for rape ?

    The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 10/09/2010 - 11:51
  • Would I be terribly wrong in assuming that these chaps use condoms for 'safe sex' and not for 'birth control' if you know what I mean?

    slug Fri, 10/09/2010 - 11:35
  • They're from Croydon aren't they? Do they even know what condoms are?

    dandyboy Fri, 10/09/2010 - 11:02
  • (double post, oops!)

    tescopop Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:50
  • Any payment? Does that mean I can pay for it entirely in 1p pieces? Because most shops won't allow that. But you seem like an amenable sort.

    tescopop Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:49
  • Surely their fans are all about 12 aren't they ?

    The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:47
  • Wonderful.
    Share a website with you ,
    ( http://www.tradeone.us )
    Believe you will love it.
    We accept any form of payment

    linqingsham70 Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:31
  • Wonderful.
    Share a website with you ,
    ( http://www.tradeone.us )
    Believe you will love it.
    We accept any form of payment

    linqingsham70 Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:31
  • Surely their fans are all about 12 aren't they ?

    The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:47
  • Any payment? Does that mean I can pay for it entirely in 1p pieces? Because most shops won't allow that. But you seem like an amenable sort.

    tescopop Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:49
  • (double post, oops!)

    tescopop Fri, 10/09/2010 - 10:50
  • They're from Croydon aren't they? Do they even know what condoms are?

    dandyboy Fri, 10/09/2010 - 11:02
  • Would I be terribly wrong in assuming that these chaps use condoms for 'safe sex' and not for 'birth control' if you know what I mean?

    slug Fri, 10/09/2010 - 11:35
  • "put your love in a glove" is this a euphimism for rape ?

    The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 10/09/2010 - 11:51
  • Don't know why, but that really reminds me of the Trojan records logo...

    Which brings us back to putting your love in a glove I suppose...

    dandyboy Fri, 10/09/2010 - 12:54
  • I'm not sure it's right putting the Trojan logo on the same page as JLS but I take your point.

    The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 10/09/2010 - 13:44
  • trojan is a condom in america if i'm not mistaken.

    andy922 Fri, 10/09/2010 - 14:45
  • Like their condoms (probably) this venture leaves a bad taste in one's mouth. Still they've got their pensions to think about so why not?

    PuddyTwat Fri, 10/09/2010 - 18:25
  • I didn't think Gayers bred?

    ken tate Mon, 13/09/2010 - 00:25

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