Low brows
Wed, 01/06/2011 - 09:57 by John Hill

What do celebrities actually think when invites for events like this come through the letterbox? Surely even the most reality-averse d-lister must think twice before attending a launch party for an eyebrow shaping service. Apparently not. In fact, the Hd Brows launch at Embassy Club actually managed to pull more of the fame-hungry hyenas away from whatever rotting carcass of a tv chatshow they were 'working' on than we've seen for quite a while.

Having said that, there's something about this set of pictures that just doesn't seem quite right. Like there's something going on behind the scenes. A terrorist kidnapping perhaps. Just look at Aisleyne's face. If that's not the face of a hostage at the Nakatomi Plaza, then we don't know what is.

 

Joining Aisleyne on the wrong end of an MP5 were Wagner, Jodie Marsh, Kristina Smirnoffski and her boyfriend, professional facepuncher Joe Calzaghe, professional facemuncher Bianca Gascoigne and that girl from tv, Brooke Kinsella.

 

For the hostage takers we had Lizzie Cundy and the mastermind of the whole affair, Katie Waissel, a woman who's wanted to kill Wagner ever since she met him and he tried to make her pregnant by staring at her. Just look at the cigar she's got. If that's wasn't put out on Bianca Gascoigne's back at some point we'd be deeply surprised.

  • Haha! She's cousins with Jeremy Hilary Boob Ph.D from the Beatles' Yellow Submarine film.
    http://my.spill.com/photo/the-last-airbender-zuko-poster/next?context=user

    Koko Wed, 01/06/2011 - 21:40
  • The Eyes of Jodie Marsh (cue Psycho-stylee stabbing music). Are her tattoos too tight? She looks as if she's suddenly remembered how not to use her brain.

    PuddyTwat Wed, 01/06/2011 - 18:24
  • Yowzers!
    So Katie Weasel, or whatever her name is, has been styled by Chanel?
    I take it that would be the same Channel with a stall in Brixton Market then?
    The only 2 decent zelebs present are Lizzie of Cundy and the Harsh! Those other sorry trollops won't make it to veteran status in the pap smear world!
    Nice to see the Harshy back tho :-))) even if she's hung up her dyke dungarees for the time being, and has more tatts on her upper arms than the recruiting office at the Royal Navy.
    More please!

    whothehellamiagain Wed, 01/06/2011 - 14:40
  • Hahahahaha look at Cundy! Hahahahaha!

    crolkuk Wed, 01/06/2011 - 13:49
  • "Hairy head crab" is Raef Apprentice botherer/BB11 contestant Ben.

    mynicehat Wed, 01/06/2011 - 13:29
  • Aww Dad. I thought them shoes were New Look.

    RoxanneLaWin Wed, 01/06/2011 - 11:31
  • It was a bad joke. My dad used to say it whenever someone looked awful. Good old dad.

    John Hill Wed, 01/06/2011 - 11:08
  • "hairy head crab"!!!! This is why everybody loves you, Jimmy. This is why.

    tescopop Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:52
  • I can't find the right scientific equation that dresses her in Chanel. Puzzled is what I am.

    RoxanneLaWin Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:51
  • I like the bit where Ben From Big Brother is squatting.

    RoxanneLaWin Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:50
  • So to recap: Waissel wasn't good enough to make it on the strength of her "talents", she wasn't good enough to make it through a "talent" show, and now her life has descended into wearing clothes and make up. Can't these people be sent down mines to do something useful for society?

    bojangles Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:40
  • I like Brooke's knees. She has nice knees. Waissel looks like the childhood drawings i used to do. I.E. not very good. Till i got better and im brilliant now. Just saying

    bojangles Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:34
  • Note to Waissel. You can put as much shit on your head/face, but it will always be fucking massive, fucking hexagonal and fucking dreadful.

    Bitch looks like Russ Abbot on a Guns n Roses theme night. Ugh.

    tescopop Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:17
  • Note to Waissel. You can put as much shit on your head/face, but it will always be fucking massive, fucking hexagonal and fucking dreadful.

    Bitch looks like Russ Abbot on a Guns n Roses theme night. Ugh.

    tescopop Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:17
  • I like Brooke's knees. She has nice knees. Waissel looks like the childhood drawings i used to do. I.E. not very good. Till i got better and im brilliant now. Just saying

    bojangles Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:34
  • So to recap: Waissel wasn't good enough to make it on the strength of her "talents", she wasn't good enough to make it through a "talent" show, and now her life has descended into wearing clothes and make up. Can't these people be sent down mines to do something useful for society?

    bojangles Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:40
  • I like the bit where Ben From Big Brother is squatting.

    RoxanneLaWin Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:50
  • I can't find the right scientific equation that dresses her in Chanel. Puzzled is what I am.

    RoxanneLaWin Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:51
  • "hairy head crab"!!!! This is why everybody loves you, Jimmy. This is why.

    tescopop Wed, 01/06/2011 - 10:52
  • It was a bad joke. My dad used to say it whenever someone looked awful. Good old dad.

    John Hill Wed, 01/06/2011 - 11:08
  • Aww Dad. I thought them shoes were New Look.

    RoxanneLaWin Wed, 01/06/2011 - 11:31
  • "Hairy head crab" is Raef Apprentice botherer/BB11 contestant Ben.

    mynicehat Wed, 01/06/2011 - 13:29
  • Hahahahaha look at Cundy! Hahahahaha!

    crolkuk Wed, 01/06/2011 - 13:49
  • Yowzers!
    So Katie Weasel, or whatever her name is, has been styled by Chanel?
    I take it that would be the same Channel with a stall in Brixton Market then?
    The only 2 decent zelebs present are Lizzie of Cundy and the Harsh! Those other sorry trollops won't make it to veteran status in the pap smear world!
    Nice to see the Harshy back tho :-))) even if she's hung up her dyke dungarees for the time being, and has more tatts on her upper arms than the recruiting office at the Royal Navy.
    More please!

    whothehellamiagain Wed, 01/06/2011 - 14:40
  • The Eyes of Jodie Marsh (cue Psycho-stylee stabbing music). Are her tattoos too tight? She looks as if she's suddenly remembered how not to use her brain.

    PuddyTwat Wed, 01/06/2011 - 18:24
  • Haha! She's cousins with Jeremy Hilary Boob Ph.D from the Beatles' Yellow Submarine film.
    http://my.spill.com/photo/the-last-airbender-zuko-poster/next?context=user

    Koko Wed, 01/06/2011 - 21:40

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