It's been a while since Johnny Borrell appeared in our day-to-day lives. A blessing, we agree. But sometimes it's just nice to find out how long-lost friends are, what they're getting up to, and if they're still the same old person they used to be. Hence our delight this morning when we found out that Johnny Borrell was involved in a fight last night, and that he's still the same old twat he always was. We hope he took a giant kick to the balls.

We must thank Guardian journalist, Jeremy Langmead, for alerting us to this good news. He was lucky enough to be at the same party as Borrell in Milan last night (held by Dolce&Gabanna at the Principe Hotel, if our ever-flawless detective skills are correct) and therefore had the pleasure of watching him take a beating first hand. In a moment of reflection this morning, he tweeted:

"Explosive night. Razorlight's Johnny Borrell got into a fight at a dinner. It started off with breadrolls and ended up in fisticuffs."

Wonderfully put. He continued:

"The fight was over an ex and her new beau, I believe. There were peace talks in the Principe loo at 1am and calm ensued. Good times."

Good times indeed. We would love to hear more details from the altercation though, Jeremy. Did J-Bo whap off his cowboy boots and fling them in his victim's face? Or did he slice the man's neck off with his cowboy hat? And who is the ex he clearly still lusts over? It could be anyone from Emma Watson to Kirsten Dunst to this poor girl.

We'll be sure to bring you more details as they come in. But in the meantime, take solace in the fact that Johnny Borrell is still a massive bellend, while you are the finest human being on the planet.

As the old saying goes: once a cunt, always a cunt.