Katie Price tells Alex Reid he's not touching her assets, means money this time

Katie Price and Alex Reid, idiot millionaires

Finish this please

Wed, 12/01/2011 - 11:33 by John Hill

You've got to give Jordan some credit, we would have thought it impossible for anyone to make Alex Reid actually seem like a good guy, but she's managed it, albeit by being even more repellent than anyone could previously have imagined.

For a woman who's run her life like a circus ever since she had her chest inflated, it's not exactly surprising that she even treats her divorce like a gameshow. Apparently we were supposed to have a statement about their split yesterday, finally releasing us from having to write about the vacuous pair, but according to a mystery source (via The Mirror) this isn't to be:

“Katie holds all the cards and when she decides the time is right, she’ll release a statement. She’s considering doing it at midnight to catch everyone out.”

Another 'friend' (this time via The Sun) chipped in, saying Jordan's main concern at the moment is for her kids. Which would make a first. After all, if you're losing out on celebrity mum of the year to (then) snowhound Kerry Katona, you've got to be truly shit:

"Katie tried very hard on their holiday to make things work, but Alex didn't want to know.

"It would seem he thinks he can get more out of the marriage if it collapses than if they work to save it.

"Katie now wants to protect everything she has worked for - and that includes her children's inheritance.

"If Alex thinks he is going to be set up for life with an easy settlement, he is wrong."

Alex as usual seemed totally unaware of anything happening outside of his own cavernous skull. Writing in his Star magazine column:

'Like most couples we have our ups and downs, we have both been under pressure and it has affected us.

'So yes, we've been having difficulties, but we're hopeful we will get it sorted. We went on holiday over the New Year to reconnect, and it felt like we did.

'It was like a weight had been lifted when we admitted we were having problems, and since then we've been getting on like a house on fire!'

This particular horse needs to be sent to the glue factory, and sooner rather than later.

Katie Price and Alex Reid, Alex Reid, Katie Price

Comments

do you know that on the advertisment for Englands Next Top Model they are saying she is a supermodel?
dancingworm Thu, 13/01/2011 - 03:52
Next comes the reconciliation and pregnancy and hopefully she won't fuck up the next one the way she fucked up Harvey.
And stop calling her Katie Price,it makes her sound human(in a council estate sort of way)The name Jordan is much easier to spit whilst being spoken.
arthurport Wed, 12/01/2011 - 18:56
Meanwhile in Made Up Land Peter Andre is 'dating' psychoWAG Elen Rivas who's still in love with Frankie Lampard who's engaged to Christine Bleakley who's the TV wife of Adrian Chiles who isn't the son of Benny Hill. Now there's a thought. Perhaps Katie Price could pretend to be the daughter of Benny Hill! Surely that's worth a page or two in OK!
PuddyTwat Wed, 12/01/2011 - 18:27
I'm making a bit of an assumption but presuming they have fucked in the last month (which even people who are very cross with each other are want to do when there's nothing on TV and your career is down the pan) that if she is pregnant then she will do the pregnancy story and the media will be looking like really how wrong they could be thinking the happy fecund couple were about to split. If she goes on the blob, it will be the split. It's the stalling which is v suspicious.
stella ah trois Wed, 12/01/2011 - 18:12
More fun this way though.
jiggerycock Wed, 12/01/2011 - 15:45
Can we just fucking ignore this stupid orange cunt from now on. She is a totally repellant human being who would probably sell tickets to Harveys premature death if she thought anyone would buy them. She lives on attention (as evidenced by her actions of the last 10 or so years) ao I figure if you (the media) and we (the public) just ignored her she would finally just fuck off.
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 12/01/2011 - 14:32
Why are you suddenly so preoccupied with Price's menstrual cycle, Ms Ah Trois?
tescopop Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:32
Which one?
slug Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:17
She's not got her period yet then.
stella ah trois Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:12
Thick boneheaded twat.
BonnyWill Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:03

Thick boneheaded twat.
BonnyWill Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:03
She's not got her period yet then.
stella ah trois Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:12
Which one?
slug Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:17
Why are you suddenly so preoccupied with Price's menstrual cycle, Ms Ah Trois?
tescopop Wed, 12/01/2011 - 12:32
Can we just fucking ignore this stupid orange cunt from now on. She is a totally repellant human being who would probably sell tickets to Harveys premature death if she thought anyone would buy them. She lives on attention (as evidenced by her actions of the last 10 or so years) ao I figure if you (the media) and we (the public) just ignored her she would finally just fuck off.
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 12/01/2011 - 14:32
More fun this way though.
jiggerycock Wed, 12/01/2011 - 15:45
I'm making a bit of an assumption but presuming they have fucked in the last month (which even people who are very cross with each other are want to do when there's nothing on TV and your career is down the pan) that if she is pregnant then she will do the pregnancy story and the media will be looking like really how wrong they could be thinking the happy fecund couple were about to split. If she goes on the blob, it will be the split. It's the stalling which is v suspicious.
stella ah trois Wed, 12/01/2011 - 18:12
Meanwhile in Made Up Land Peter Andre is 'dating' psychoWAG Elen Rivas who's still in love with Frankie Lampard who's engaged to Christine Bleakley who's the TV wife of Adrian Chiles who isn't the son of Benny Hill. Now there's a thought. Perhaps Katie Price could pretend to be the daughter of Benny Hill! Surely that's worth a page or two in OK!
PuddyTwat Wed, 12/01/2011 - 18:27
Next comes the reconciliation and pregnancy and hopefully she won't fuck up the next one the way she fucked up Harvey.
And stop calling her Katie Price,it makes her sound human(in a council estate sort of way)The name Jordan is much easier to spit whilst being spoken.
arthurport Wed, 12/01/2011 - 18:56
do you know that on the advertisment for Englands Next Top Model they are saying she is a supermodel?
dancingworm Thu, 13/01/2011 - 03:52