We're not exactly sure why this trio were looking so pleased with themselves at the press conference for the MTV European Music Awards this afternoon - Pete Wentz will need a footstool just to reach the podium, Joss Stone is starting to look a little bit like her almost-namesake Jocelyn Wildenstein, while Katy Perry will probably have to disguise her lack of presenting talent with a million outfit changes like she did last year.
Mr HM is off to Berlin for the ceremony tomorrow so will update you on the winners, but here are the nominees in the meantime...
Best Song
Beyonce — "Halo"
Black Eyed Peas — "I Got A Feeling"
David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland — "When Love Takes Over"
Kings Of Leon — "Use Somebody"
Lady GaGa — "Pokerface"
Best Live Act
Beyonce
Green Day
Kings Of Leon
Lady GaGa
U2
Best Group
Black Eyed Peas
Green Day
Jonas Brothers
Kings Of Leon
Tokio Hotel
Best New Act
Daniel Merriweather
La Roux
Lady GaGa
Pixie Lott
Taylor Swift
Best Female
Beyonce
Katy Perry
Lady GaGa
Leona Lewis
Shakira
Best Male
Eminem
Jay-Z
Kanye West
Mika
Robbie Williams
Best Urban
Ciara
Eminem
Jay-Z
Kanye West
T.I
Best Rock
Foo Fighters
Green Day
Kings Of Leon
Linkin Park
U2
Best Alternative
Muse
Paramore
Placebo
The Killers
The Prodigy
Best Video
Beyonce — "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"
Britney Spears — "Circus"
Eminem — "We Made You"
Katy Perry — "Waking up in Vegas"
Shakira — "She Wolf"
Best Push Artist
Daniel Merriweather
Hockey
La Roux
Little Boots
Metro Station
Pixie Lott
The Veronicas
White Lies
Best World Stage Performance
Coldplay
Kid Rock
Kings Of Leon
Lady GaGa
Linkin Park
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Big Brother winner Pete Bennett gets married, amazing photos
P Diddy pays tribute to Notorious BIG by acting like an absolute cockend
Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth continue their thinly-veiled bout of self validation
Ronnie Wood visits the country with girlfriend, look like murderers
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler get sexy for W Magazine ahead of Bounty Hunter release
Elton John's Oscar party, posh looks drunk, Cowell's breasts
Chanelle Hayes still pregnant, goes out with Robbie Coltrane
Take That's Mark Owen gets busted for 10 affairs
Daisy Lowe slips into a swimsuit and pair of hot-pants for Louis Vuitton bag campaign
X Factor's Rachel Adedeji gets the Holy Moly Interrogation
Katie Price sends saucy texts to Brazilian toyboy Andre Pinto
X Factor's Lucie Jones gets a Holy Moly Interrogation
When Holy Moly met JLS
How much is your sex tape worth?
What is so damn great about Blighty?
COMMENTS (14)
What's a 'push' artist?
ones that don't have a car, I think
Or ones that grunt and strain and push out a load of shit and call it an album?
Pete Wentz and the slanty eyed Stone can fuck right off. KP just looks beautiful. Like a porn star doll ready for a rough night.
That list? A veritable smorgasbord of chancers and purveyors of ersatz 'music-lite'
Best 'Urban' I mean you've got to laugh haven't you? I wonder if they have even a moment's self-realisation when they go 'Best Urban Artist?' What the Somersaulting Fuck!'
Best Rustic? That would be The Wurzels for the 50th year in succession, but they were pushed closely this year by Alex James and his mound of cheese
There was a time I would of licked Katy Perry from head to toe but now Russell 'I've shagged everything near me that has a pulse' Brand has been their, I would have to politely decline.
I don't want to catch fleas or any other STD's
"I don't want to catch fleas or any other STD's"
Why - have you got some already? DO you collect them? "I only need chlamydia for the full set!"
"I've got a spare NSU if anyone wants to swap"
MTV - fucking says it all - this must be the biggest collection of shite music this last 2 years with the exception of KoL.
Beyonce - record one version of "If I were a Boy", remix it 12 times, hey presto one CD album.
Boy there are some gullible cunts out there....
Joss Stone is a pretentious little cuntrag who thinks she's, like, so boho, yah? Just like all the other faux-hippie cunts in Totnes. I come from near there, it's full of annoying bearded twats (male and female) who think they're saving the world by only eating organic meat. Ever seen the Smug Alert episode of South Park? Basically, like that. An entire town full of people sniffing their own farts whilst wallowing in self-satisfaction.
Joss Stone was being interviewed on the radio the other day. People were texting in comments. Really quite nasty ones! And obviously I know this cos... they were reading them out. With her sat there! Brilliant.