The premiere of Kelly Brook's new film Piranha 3D hit Paris last night, providing our moustachioed continental friends with some great material for le banque wanquaise. And they say we only ever send them diseased beef. They're still not totally wrong.

The film itself has not received the critical panning we all hoped it would and is apparently actually not that bad. However Kelly's role as a buoyancy aid seems to have been almost totally missed by critics outside of the UK, as the general public in fact seem much more interested in seeing her charlie browns than her acting talent.

That's right, you can now officially say that Kelly Brook is a filthy dirty thespian.