Kelly Brook returned to the UK and swanned down the red carpet at the premiere of "The Ugly Truth" before nipping in to Claridges for a lettuce leaf and glass of fizzy air.

Taking time out from her hectic schedule of keeping the straight-to-DVD film business afloat and dancing on yachts with porn actresses, Kelly was careful to choose an outfit that didn't draw too much attention.

After all, she's a serious actress and television personality, NOT a walking wig saddled on a large pair of tits.

As you can see it's extremely difficult to write anything objective about Kelly Brook that doesn't make you come across as a misogynistic, sexist twat. So I'll refrain from commenting further - although speaking from a fashion perspective, that dress raises a couple of interesting points.

Oh I give up...