Kerry Katona arrested for assault and criminal damage UPDATED

Kerry Katona arrested for assaulting a man

PLEASELETITBEMARKPLEASELETITBEMARK

Wed, 26/08/2009 - 20:25 by Mr. HM

Kerry Katona has been arrested and detained under the charges of assault, criminal damage and a public order offence.

A police spokesperson said:

"At approximately 3.50pm on Wednesday 26th August, Cheshire Police attended a premises on Hawthorne Business Park in Warrington, following a report of an assault.

A 28-year-old woman from the Wilmslow area has been arrested on suspicion of assault, criminal damage and a public order offence."

More details as they come, but please let it be Mark Croft... Please!

THURSDAY UPDATE:

Disappointingly - Kerry didn't knock seven shades of shit out of Mark Croft, it was the next best thing - her accountant. But don't despair, even THIS story is dripping in vintage Katona shambolic sleaze juice.

David McHugh was having a nice cup of tea when Kerry turned up yesterday to go through her accounts, which must have resembled Alexa Chung's stomach (small and empty). After realising she didn't have enough money for a doner shish mix, she did the decent thing and threw said cup of tea in his face.

She then scarpered but the police caught up with her at her home, where she had cunningly gone to hide and they dragged her in for questioning. Mark Croft managed to tear himself away from ironing his tracksuit and joined her at 10pm. She managed to break free at just before 2am.

Now before you jump to conclusions and feel sympathy for the accountant - read this:

1. The accountant has been in jail for fraud.

2. He was found with £3.5 million of clients cash in his bank.

3. He owned seven houses, a farm and 18 vehicles.

4. Kerry was introduced to him by... MARK CROFT.

Yup - you knew it though didn't you? Had to be. Mark and this dude have pissed £100,000 of Kerry's money on schemes so stupid even Peter Jones would balk (and he invested in Hamfatter!). One of these ideas was to breed pink rabbits to sell to celebrities at £600 a pop.

What an utter, utter cock. I'm almost felling sorry for Kerry. Only a bit mind.

Kerry Katona

Comments

It is an officer's job to thoroughly scrutinize a statement given in good faith for any possible discrepancies in an effort to incriminate one subjected to a criminal investigation. Once that statement, no matter how innocently intended or misinterpreted has been made, the job of your criminal law attorney has been made infinitely more difficult. If you or a loved one is the target of a criminal investigation and have not given a statement without the presence of your criminal attorney, consider yourself fortunate. You have the benefit of securing the services of a top criminal defense lawyer prior to charging decisions and settlement options being made within a prosecutor's office.
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1stukgent121 Thu, 10/06/2010 - 11:28
Her public order offence is those fucking Iceland ads
the flange Thu, 27/08/2009 - 12:28
Ah, my daily dose of KK madness. Mind you i'm not sure 'dose' is the correct term to use around that fat minged harridan. Did she try dunking a Rich Tea or two in his lap after the tea soaking, i believe Iceland have two packs for a quid at present...
malachysdad Thu, 27/08/2009 - 11:03
Now there's wishful thinking - the half populated by the footballing fraternity, we live in hope
Blartmonster Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:45
I know, Mr HM - those libel lawyers don't come cheap....
Blartmonster Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:44
Just covering my back!
Mr. HM Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:37
'Criminal Damage'?

What did she do? Sit down and wipe out half of Cheshire?
jiggerycock Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:34
"I'm almost felling sorry for Kerry. Only a bit mind."

Well I'm fucking not, how many chances does even a fat cunt like this get at a privileged life?? Money - lots of it - a family, public adulation (yeah ok, it was a long time ago) and she ends up with King Arseholeand the hangers-on from hell....

I'm rather, weirdly, enjoying watching this self-implosion *pulls up chair, opens bag of popcorn*
Blartmonster Thu, 27/08/2009 - 09:23
Fucking thick fat slapper cunt
Boffer Wed, 26/08/2009 - 21:34
Dumb cunt. She deserves every sack of shit she gets.
sickofcelebs Wed, 26/08/2009 - 20:56
Now THIS is exactly the type of thing I want to see at night.
And heres me thinking you knocked off at 17:00
Henry_McCarty Wed, 26/08/2009 - 20:54

Now THIS is exactly the type of thing I want to see at night.
And heres me thinking you knocked off at 17:00
Henry_McCarty Wed, 26/08/2009 - 20:54
Dumb cunt. She deserves every sack of shit she gets.
sickofcelebs Wed, 26/08/2009 - 20:56
Fucking thick fat slapper cunt
Boffer Wed, 26/08/2009 - 21:34
"I'm almost felling sorry for Kerry. Only a bit mind."

Well I'm fucking not, how many chances does even a fat cunt like this get at a privileged life?? Money - lots of it - a family, public adulation (yeah ok, it was a long time ago) and she ends up with King Arseholeand the hangers-on from hell....

I'm rather, weirdly, enjoying watching this self-implosion *pulls up chair, opens bag of popcorn*
Blartmonster Thu, 27/08/2009 - 09:23
'Criminal Damage'?

What did she do? Sit down and wipe out half of Cheshire?
jiggerycock Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:34
Just covering my back!
Mr. HM Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:37
I know, Mr HM - those libel lawyers don't come cheap....
Blartmonster Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:44
Now there's wishful thinking - the half populated by the footballing fraternity, we live in hope
Blartmonster Thu, 27/08/2009 - 10:45
Ah, my daily dose of KK madness. Mind you i'm not sure 'dose' is the correct term to use around that fat minged harridan. Did she try dunking a Rich Tea or two in his lap after the tea soaking, i believe Iceland have two packs for a quid at present...
malachysdad Thu, 27/08/2009 - 11:03
Her public order offence is those fucking Iceland ads
the flange Thu, 27/08/2009 - 12:28
It is an officer's job to thoroughly scrutinize a statement given in good faith for any possible discrepancies in an effort to incriminate one subjected to a criminal investigation. Once that statement, no matter how innocently intended or misinterpreted has been made, the job of your criminal law attorney has been made infinitely more difficult. If you or a loved one is the target of a criminal investigation and have not given a statement without the presence of your criminal attorney, consider yourself fortunate. You have the benefit of securing the services of a top criminal defense lawyer prior to charging decisions and settlement options being made within a prosecutor's office.
dui lawyer canton ga
1stukgent121 Thu, 10/06/2010 - 11:28