Serves her right, the fucking ugly waste of space.

"Nasty end of Porn"?

That'll be a "Kerry Sucks Alsatian Cock" DVD on my X-Mas list next year then...

She could probably work it like those people who have 'lost their (imaginary) purse/wallet' and need to borrow/nick a quid off you as you wait for the no.6.

I'm just hoping she uses US dealers. Apparently they regularly cut their cocaine supply with a substance used to de-worm possums. A worthwhile safeguard for someone whose arse has been regularly frequented by parasites.

Has it been smearing itself with caca d'oie. Septum looks like its on its way out. Hateful looking beast.

She probably will be putting her toungue out in that inane way....receiving what she deserves until the director yells 'cut' and Peter North stops spraying his population paste around like Krakatoa

It'll be fun to see if she's still putting her fucking tongue out in that inane way on the other side of New Year. Fucking cracking news, Karma now needs to be cocking a snook at the Cunt Price next, then a fatal car crash for Peaches would be just dandy.

Loved the quote from her fat twat mum, about how she (KK) had bought her the council house but kept it in her name, so that when they repossessed her stuff for tax reasons, her house went too. Fucking funny!!!

...in a 'Razzle stack' kind of way?

still take her over nolan.

Probably begging Celeb Big Brother as we speak, but even they wouldn't stoop so low?

A future at the most nasty end of the porn industry is all she can look forward to.

Oh well, lets all have another mince pie and Happy Christmas Kerry!

Simples? SIMPLES?! Retard.

This is where OK could step in. Give her a job, not as a 'writer', good heavens no, but as a security guard for their offices. Pay her in cups of tea and the leftovers from the canteen and let her sleep on the premises. Simples.

Try looking up Jesus and discover the true meaning of Christmas.

Or failing that, thai dwarf donkey rimming is your next best bet.

Fucking hell, Mr HM must be wanking himself to a standstill, wishing he could afford writers of your wit and calibre.

I'm feeling very festive now in the midst of that wonderful Warrington nativity scene.

Try looking up Brazilian Fart Fetish Porn....I'm not sure if it really exists but it'll use up a few minutes.

Well, it's Christmas week, I'm at work but no other bugger is and even surfing the Internet for videos of Asian women vandalising each others anuses has lost some of its sparkle.

A smidge too much time on your Germans jiggers, but quite good all the same

THE CHRISTMAS STORY

And lo, it came to pass that Homeless Katona went forth into Warrington on a / her humble ass, and she was heavy with fat.

…and she did pass from inn unto inn, seeking succour but none would let her in to quaff, landlords intoning ‘thou art barred thou miserable strumpet even unto thy smitey boyfriend’

And Katona was sore distressed.

Until happening upon a lowly kebab shop, wherein she was allowed to rest - behind the bins, amongst the downcast and the lepers and the puke.

And so it came to pass that later that night, Katona did give birth unto an enormous Brown Trout and three Paparazzi, summoned by an agency stringer, did take pictures even though they were afraid of the stench and her smitey boyfriend.

But they knew which side their kebab was buttered when it came to thirty pieces of silver.

Later that week, in the Kingdom of Fleet Street, three Tabloid Editors followed The (Daily) Star and did happen upon the Katona photos and did bestow the gifts of Publicity, Column Inches and Coverage.

…and lo, in time Iceland, Lidl and Turkey Twizzlers did renew their contracts, even unto tenfold of their previous value and Albion did weep and gnash its teeth.

And Max Clifford did cackle like Beelzebub at what he had created.