Kerry Katona moves into new house, ex-husband says he hopes she breaks her neck

3 ...except for us, because she just won't go away.Hopefully someone's swapped her parachute sized pants for unexploded mines

Kerry Katona and new house. It's a fresh start for everyone...

She's definitely changed. Definitely.

Wed, 09/02/2011 - 14:52 by John Hill

So we once again return to the idyllic setting that is Kerry Katona's life. The ponies are prancing, the birds are singing, the reality shows are filming and her ice-skates are holding. Things honestly couldn't be better for the Best Mum In The World Ever, in fact, even a quick bump of magic salt probably couldn't make her any happier than she is now.

Unfortunately for the moon-faced blonde, it's this kind of truly wonderful state of affairs that attracts the worst elements of society: journalists, accountants and people with at least half a brain. Like we said, the worst.

Kerry, knowing this, decided to plough ahead and invest £5,500 a month renting a new house for her and her charming kids. Apparently she's now a major success again, after that dancing thing she's on, her own reality TV show and her fitness DVD have all been shown to be doing very well. She's gone from a fat, obnoxious coke addict gorging on prawn rings to a dancing, carefre..... sorry, can't continue with that.

Kerry Katona is a talentless, pointless, attention seeking parasite of the worst degree. She spent so much time and money on coke, luxury cars and holidays that she managed to piss away almost £7million in just over two years with her equally turgid, poisonous fart of an ex-husband, Mark Croft (who incidentally was recently quoted as saying "I hope she breaks her neck" about her stint on Celebrity Ice Rangers or whatever that spunky dribble of a show is called).

She now plies her trade talking about how she's not doing these things. How is that a reasonable thing to do? How is she not utterly, utterly appalled at the fact that selling the minutiae of her pointless life is actually making other people happy simply because their lives are worse?

Katie Price is a vapid, ruthless, corrosive human being, but holy fuck, Kerry makes her seem like a highly principled Victorian housemistress in comparison.

Anyway, above are the pictures of the pug-faced wastrel moving into her new house. If her past is anything to go by she'll be booted out by the end of the year. Here's hoping.

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft, Kerry Katona pictures, Kerry Katona, Mark Croft

Comments

Are you trying to imply that Katona keeps her oven in her flesh pocket ?
The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 10/02/2011 - 10:16
Give it 6 months: the wallpaper will be off, the garden will be full of scrap, and there will be shit smeared all over the walls. Oh and a pile of used nappies in the gaping hole that once housed the oven
shitthebed Thu, 10/02/2011 - 05:29
ken tate Thu, 10/02/2011 - 00:40
Jimmy - may I just say what a wonderfully spiteful profile of KK you have penned here. More of this please.
stella ah trois Wed, 09/02/2011 - 22:12
Have to say Bongo, I thought the Katona was from Warrington myself.
And, no offense, I thought that was supposed to be way worse than being a Scouser.

But then I am Southern, and a bit of a fat laydee's halterneck top.
whothehellamiagain Wed, 09/02/2011 - 18:21
Oh I don't know.
The thing with our Kezza is that, in spite of saying all the "right" things she's been told to (by fat evil Clare of Management in a CanCan) on all the various chat shows (OK-Chatty Man), she's terminally dim witted.
And, as every recovering addict will know, a relapse is on the cards, piss test or no piss test.
She's harmless enough and is simply going with her only other alternative than a job on the till at............ Iceland (???)
In the Price - v - Katona war of pointless worthless celebrity, Price wins by default due to the fact that she has no redeeming features at all.
And she's a mercenary cunt or is possibly a sociopath, or both.

Will no one think of the children?
whothehellamiagain Wed, 09/02/2011 - 18:16
Well we certainly don't want her stinking up the place with her vile noxious eructations down here in leafy Surrey.....maybe Albania would like her ? she could become their Queen and dine on roasted armadillo every night.
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 09/02/2011 - 17:34
as a scouser can i please say she has fuck all to do with us. We wash our hands of her, Jimmy Tarfuck and Cilla Black.

But Freddie Starr is ours all ours!!
bongo Wed, 09/02/2011 - 17:11
I can already feel the gravitational pull from the contraction of thousands of anal sphincters in leafy Surrey, knowing this means an immediate quarter of a mill off the value of their property.
merylhighground Wed, 09/02/2011 - 16:26
Damn, time to buy a new TV, again.
slug Wed, 09/02/2011 - 16:02
*Like
elegantlywasted Wed, 09/02/2011 - 15:18
I'm finding it hard to hate Katona anymore than I already do so instead I'm directing all my excess bile at the unwashed masses who keep watching whatever shit lucifer and his tv exec chums can dream up as a vehicle for the stupid fat scouse cunt.

"Coming Soon: Kerry Katona and her period - An in depth examintaion of Kerry's menstrual cycle in which we examine the highs and the lows of bleeding out of your minge when you're a famous scumpig."
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 09/02/2011 - 15:11

I'm finding it hard to hate Katona anymore than I already do so instead I'm directing all my excess bile at the unwashed masses who keep watching whatever shit lucifer and his tv exec chums can dream up as a vehicle for the stupid fat scouse cunt.

"Coming Soon: Kerry Katona and her period - An in depth examintaion of Kerry's menstrual cycle in which we examine the highs and the lows of bleeding out of your minge when you're a famous scumpig."
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 09/02/2011 - 15:11
*Like
elegantlywasted Wed, 09/02/2011 - 15:18
Damn, time to buy a new TV, again.
slug Wed, 09/02/2011 - 16:02
I can already feel the gravitational pull from the contraction of thousands of anal sphincters in leafy Surrey, knowing this means an immediate quarter of a mill off the value of their property.
merylhighground Wed, 09/02/2011 - 16:26
as a scouser can i please say she has fuck all to do with us. We wash our hands of her, Jimmy Tarfuck and Cilla Black.

But Freddie Starr is ours all ours!!
bongo Wed, 09/02/2011 - 17:11
Well we certainly don't want her stinking up the place with her vile noxious eructations down here in leafy Surrey.....maybe Albania would like her ? she could become their Queen and dine on roasted armadillo every night.
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 09/02/2011 - 17:34
Oh I don't know.
The thing with our Kezza is that, in spite of saying all the "right" things she's been told to (by fat evil Clare of Management in a CanCan) on all the various chat shows (OK-Chatty Man), she's terminally dim witted.
And, as every recovering addict will know, a relapse is on the cards, piss test or no piss test.
She's harmless enough and is simply going with her only other alternative than a job on the till at............ Iceland (???)
In the Price - v - Katona war of pointless worthless celebrity, Price wins by default due to the fact that she has no redeeming features at all.
And she's a mercenary cunt or is possibly a sociopath, or both.

Will no one think of the children?
whothehellamiagain Wed, 09/02/2011 - 18:16
Have to say Bongo, I thought the Katona was from Warrington myself.
And, no offense, I thought that was supposed to be way worse than being a Scouser.

But then I am Southern, and a bit of a fat laydee's halterneck top.
whothehellamiagain Wed, 09/02/2011 - 18:21
Jimmy - may I just say what a wonderfully spiteful profile of KK you have penned here. More of this please.
stella ah trois Wed, 09/02/2011 - 22:12
ken tate Thu, 10/02/2011 - 00:40
Give it 6 months: the wallpaper will be off, the garden will be full of scrap, and there will be shit smeared all over the walls. Oh and a pile of used nappies in the gaping hole that once housed the oven
shitthebed Thu, 10/02/2011 - 05:29
Are you trying to imply that Katona keeps her oven in her flesh pocket ?
The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 10/02/2011 - 10:16