If your day is going well, prepare yourself for a heavy heart - Kerry Katona's boyfriend, Dan Foden has done a runner saying he didn't want to be forever known as Mr. Katona and citing her fake friends and having little in common as one of the reasons he could take no more. Fake friends? Nothing in common? No shit, Sherlock.

Dan, who wants so little to do with fame and celebrity that, despite being a Chartered Surveyor, jumped at the chance of appearing 'Take Me Out' - the TV show that made 'Man O Man' look like an evening with Germaine Greer, says that Kerry;s hunger for publicity and fame was too much for him. Speaking to Reveal magazine he says:

'When I started seeing her, I was just concentrating on Kerry. I'd met someone new and it was nice. Kerry is a lovely girl. But I'm just a normal bloke. I'm not the next Jack Tweed.'

Pssst Dan - Jack Tweed went out with the other one, but we'll brush over that for now. He goes on...

'We'd only been on one or two dates but next things I know I'm her boyfriend. There was no grey period. 'There was no getting to know each other... If you're seeing Kerry there's no way you can be normal.'

I'm no detective, but I'm pretty sure I'd be able to pick out many MANY grey periods if I'd spent the past 2 months giving Paddy McGuinness a piggyback in front of a hen party then being herded around by an ITV2 camera crew pretending to have AMAZING FUN with a woman who can't wipe her arse without getting someone else to write her column about it!

Where will Kerry find a new boyfriend from?! Don't know about you, but Tom Williams  must be shitting his pants.