Faked and Baked
Sun, 23/05/2010 - 08:05 by Mr. HM

Ah the British weather! it was 25°C yesterday and it should hit 28°C today! The tarmac is melting, Pimms has sold out and cities are full of men in 3/4 length trousers with burnt calves. The perfect day to visit a tanning salon then :-/

This new PR strategy her cunning people have devised is really working well. It's really showing her as the fun, bubbly personality we all loved. The way she keeps getting photographed doing normal everyday things like walking into a Beefeater, like feeding some swans with a fag on and like sitting in a child's buggy for TV cameras.

It's not her fault those pesky paparazzi are there to spoil the fun is it?

Anyway, the decision to send her to a tanning salon takes it to a whole new level. We've had an exclusive peek into her forthcoming schedule:

  • Delivering sand to Egypt.
  • Opening a coal shop in Newcastle.
  • Installing a shower at the bottom of a swimming pool.

  • That is one of my favourite HM headlines ever !!

    the flange Mon, 24/05/2010 - 13:45
  • She looks like she's got a thin bit of toast on her head, like the ones you get with pate in restaurants.

    topguntop Mon, 24/05/2010 - 12:24
  • Can't wait to see Croft play the 'grieving' Tweed role.

    huxylady Sun, 23/05/2010 - 12:12
  • Maybe her septum has finally dissolved?

    huxylady Sun, 23/05/2010 - 12:07
  • Ps. She suddenly looked like Daniella Westbrooke, has she done something to her lips?

    Urfugginjokin Sun, 23/05/2010 - 11:53
  • Yup Hux, was about to say the same. Malignant Melanoma isn't fun so when it's sunny and your friendly neighbourhood Katona wants to leave the house semi-naked then she'll pop along to the tanning salon and get a spray so she doesn't have to burn herself to a crisp and prematurely age but can be nicely gravy coloured anyway..

    Urfugginjokin Sun, 23/05/2010 - 11:52
  • Quite so - genius PR! No more babies. This time it is death through superficial* spreading melanoma and immortality. Go, Kerry, go! (In at least two senses of the phrase.)

    *Don't be disappointed. This is not as positive as it might appear to sound ...

    stella ah trois Sun, 23/05/2010 - 11:38
  • I really hate to defend the silly bint but might she be going for a spray tan, given that she prefers the day-glo orange look to that of a natural tan and might not want skin cancer? Unless she is planning 'doing a Jade' which wouldn't surprise me...

    huxylady Sun, 23/05/2010 - 10:10
  • I really hate to defend the silly bint but might she be going for a spray tan, given that she prefers the day-glo orange look to that of a natural tan and might not want skin cancer? Unless she is planning 'doing a Jade' which wouldn't surprise me...

    huxylady Sun, 23/05/2010 - 10:10
  • Quite so - genius PR! No more babies. This time it is death through superficial* spreading melanoma and immortality. Go, Kerry, go! (In at least two senses of the phrase.)

    *Don't be disappointed. This is not as positive as it might appear to sound ...

    stella ah trois Sun, 23/05/2010 - 11:38
  • Yup Hux, was about to say the same. Malignant Melanoma isn't fun so when it's sunny and your friendly neighbourhood Katona wants to leave the house semi-naked then she'll pop along to the tanning salon and get a spray so she doesn't have to burn herself to a crisp and prematurely age but can be nicely gravy coloured anyway..

    Urfugginjokin Sun, 23/05/2010 - 11:52
  • Ps. She suddenly looked like Daniella Westbrooke, has she done something to her lips?

    Urfugginjokin Sun, 23/05/2010 - 11:53
  • Maybe her septum has finally dissolved?

    huxylady Sun, 23/05/2010 - 12:07
  • Can't wait to see Croft play the 'grieving' Tweed role.

    huxylady Sun, 23/05/2010 - 12:12
  • She looks like she's got a thin bit of toast on her head, like the ones you get with pate in restaurants.

    topguntop Mon, 24/05/2010 - 12:24
  • That is one of my favourite HM headlines ever !!

    the flange Mon, 24/05/2010 - 13:45

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