Crazy in love
Tue, 11/08/2009 - 10:16 by HM writer
Kerry Katona's mum Big Sue is apparently devastated that Kerry has reconciled with husband Mark Croft and is now "worried sick" about her daughter's future. Yes, the same mum who told the NOTW that she once shagged one of Kerry's boyfriends before claiming that she knew Kerry had dabbled with drugs in the past, because she did them with her...

But don't let that put you off...

Katona kicked Croft out of her home following his behaviour on their holiday where he reportedly flirted with strippers then continued to contact with one of them once they were returned back. And when pictures emerged last week showing 38-year-old Croft groping a lap dancer, Katona vowed never to take him back.

But that was three days ago and Katona's already put her wedding back on and taken the toad back.

So Sue felt compelled to express her concern for the well-being of her 27-year-old daughter and called up Closer magazine immediately to say:

I'm worried sick about Kerry now she's taken him back. Mark's destroyed her self-esteem. She has no confidence left. What does he have to do to make her realise what a b****** he is?

Sue also tried to reason with Katona by asking her if she'd seen the story about Croft trying to shag strippers, adding:

'I said: "Have you seen it - the story about Mark trying to shag the lap dancers?" she replied: "He's been stitched up."

'I said: "For God's sake he's been filmed trying to shag her, what more do you need to see?" But she wouldn't listen.'

I only hope she sees I'm doing it to try and help her realise what a mistake she's made. She needs to get away from him.'

Well at least it was a stripper and not her mum this time...

  • Michelle Heaton, stylist, writes: Dare one suggest a burkha to Modom in preference to her current slightly unflattering attire? Mysterious, alluring, enticing, does wonders for the lady with the fuller figure, and above all roomy, allowing plenty of space for shoplifting that last-minute frozen Christmas turkey. ("Don't dare go to Iceland, mam" shrieks young Kerry, Christmas 2009, quietly hoping mum would manage to get a tin of Quality Street under, in addition).

    SelectiveInvective Wed, 12/08/2009 - 20:04
  • No, silly - Leia strangled it with her slave chains.

    ockerrocker Wed, 12/08/2009 - 00:48
  • All just publicity seeking for the next Sky series of "Kerry Katona - I'm the fuckin problem"

    Ivor-Bryan-Newcombe-Binarvester Tue, 11/08/2009 - 16:26
  • which one's Kerry?

    whatthe. Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:27
  • Iceland should really go for it with their ads

    "Spent all your benefits on drugs ? Feed your brats with 5 pizzas for a pound...."

    grange Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:26
  • mum: would, just for barnyard value
    KK: to consider it at all is *wrong*

    dames Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:19
  • I can't believe I'm writing this, but I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for Kerry Katona.

    ArfurDaley Tue, 11/08/2009 - 13:05
  • Didn't Luke Skywalker kill that in Return of the Jedi?

    tamago Tue, 11/08/2009 - 12:11
  • ^ They put the GREAT in Great Britain.

    kwebb Tue, 11/08/2009 - 11:31
  • "been filmed trying to shag her" eh? What, like, he was positioning himself awkwardly but the mood wasn't right and despite everything being in working order, it just wasn't happening and she was like "I'm sorry, I just don't think...." and he said "yeah, me either, let's just watch QI"? Like that, yeah?

    tescopop Tue, 11/08/2009 - 11:11
  • You can see that distinguished class and culture is hereditary in the genes of the Katonas...

    Blartmonster Tue, 11/08/2009 - 11:03
  • You can see that distinguished class and culture is hereditary in the genes of the Katonas...

    Blartmonster Tue, 11/08/2009 - 11:03
  • "been filmed trying to shag her" eh? What, like, he was positioning himself awkwardly but the mood wasn't right and despite everything being in working order, it just wasn't happening and she was like "I'm sorry, I just don't think...." and he said "yeah, me either, let's just watch QI"? Like that, yeah?

    tescopop Tue, 11/08/2009 - 11:11
  • ^ They put the GREAT in Great Britain.

    kwebb Tue, 11/08/2009 - 11:31
  • Didn't Luke Skywalker kill that in Return of the Jedi?

    tamago Tue, 11/08/2009 - 12:11
  • I can't believe I'm writing this, but I'm actually starting to feel a bit sorry for Kerry Katona.

    ArfurDaley Tue, 11/08/2009 - 13:05
  • mum: would, just for barnyard value
    KK: to consider it at all is *wrong*

    dames Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:19
  • Iceland should really go for it with their ads

    "Spent all your benefits on drugs ? Feed your brats with 5 pizzas for a pound...."

    grange Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:26
  • which one's Kerry?

    whatthe. Tue, 11/08/2009 - 14:27
  • All just publicity seeking for the next Sky series of "Kerry Katona - I'm the fuckin problem"

    Ivor-Bryan-Newcombe-Binarvester Tue, 11/08/2009 - 16:26
  • No, silly - Leia strangled it with her slave chains.

    ockerrocker Wed, 12/08/2009 - 00:48
  • Michelle Heaton, stylist, writes: Dare one suggest a burkha to Modom in preference to her current slightly unflattering attire? Mysterious, alluring, enticing, does wonders for the lady with the fuller figure, and above all roomy, allowing plenty of space for shoplifting that last-minute frozen Christmas turkey. ("Don't dare go to Iceland, mam" shrieks young Kerry, Christmas 2009, quietly hoping mum would manage to get a tin of Quality Street under, in addition).

    SelectiveInvective Wed, 12/08/2009 - 20:04

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