Drunk, manky and miserable...yet Brad still looks a lot more content than he did married to Anniston.

I dont mind Ms Goldman to be honest. She looks great.

Everyone is so focused on the woman's flabby tits that they seem to have forgotten that she has a face like a constipated goat

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Ahem. Yes Rev, of course I knew that...
All right, hands up, I thought she co-wrote it. I'm the idiot.

Anyway, while you're here, just to say, I was so fucking furious even with the concept of that TRAVESTY of a remake of 'The Wicker Man' I actually would have slapped Nic Cage's strange paedo-like vizog if I could have gotten close enough. But then, if I'm honest, I'm not sure I'd like to touch him. he's just too eerie and weird.( His mullet in Con Air is a complete frightfest as well....)

Many's the fine drunken moment I've performed my own version of the Maypole song with spooky Wicker Man dance and scary singing. I own a copy of the original film on dvd SIGNED BY EWA WOOWA plus I have the sound track. No shit. I love it.

Stardust was good because Neil Gaiman wrote it, she just did the conversion to screen play.

Kermit, he should lose the beard and keep the porn tache and sideburns I reckon (I'm not joking..!)

Koshmar, I know all about being a writer with very few contacts, I'm not saying it's fair, just that I don't know that she's the worst offender in the nepotism stakes, they really are ALL the fucking same to a greater or lesser degree in the world of 'showbiz, some so blatantly it could make your brain explode with fury... Saying that, there's nothing more excruciating than a shoddily written book so I'll have to take your word for it as I've not read anything by her but I have seen her 'psychic research' show - where's she's kinda like the Nigella of the supernatural world... (Plus I actually didn't mind the film 'Stardust', Bob De Niro dancing around in a corset wasn't the least funny thing I've ever seen and any problems seemed to be with the direction rather than writing).

She's obviously pissed you off though!

Now that he's finished his movie, would Brad Pitt mind an awful lot removing his Gary Glitter's beard? rank!!

I'm sorry but there's a hint of desperation about Goldman. The red/pink hair look has worn a bit thin now, spesh as she's touching her 40s. Sure she's got her own career, but seeing as she met Wossy when she was 16, married him at 18, I'd suggest she, like many others do, benefitted from the contacts made through her liaison with him, rather than the hard work most writers would have to go through.

And I can assure you, having read one of her X-Files books (I bought one as a gift, daft cunt that I was), that her writing panache isn't that great

Ps. Good luck hanging onto your hostage boyf STW. Look at him. I mean good God (another 70s style phwoaarr sound)... And look how scared she looks. I suddenly feel a bit sorry for her.

Those tits are supported by a hell of a lot of corsetry- trust me, I'm built in a similar manner and it requires a lot of smoke and mirrors and engineering to make 'em look that good once you get over 35. But I think she looks lovely, is wearing a great dress and her pink/red hair suits her (mine never did, not even when I was 19 and it was supposedly 'fashionable' to look like a muppet). Wossy, on the other hand, looks like he just escaped from Spandau Ballet c.1983.

Jane Goldman was a sixteen year old journalist when she met her husband. She really was going places and everyone knew who she was if they read 'teen' magazines. (Teen magazines were like bibles to young lasses in 1986). I think she wrote for Just 17 which was massive in them there old days. I actually think she dropped back a bit when she got married to JR and had her kids then pushed forward again with her own projects in the last seven years or so. I think she's gorgeous, and have had my own hair that colour more than once (and I'm in my thirties). She's got massive knockers, proper hips and I've never seen her starving and clawing her way up the red carpet like most of those lanky freakazoid clones so not a bad role model. (Don't know if she's a nice person coz I've never spoken to her)...

Anyway, the point I'm making is simply, as celebrities go, she seems to have her own mind and her own ideas. Love or hate her writing, she was doing it before she met him and all things considered probably made contacts through Ross's career but didn't, for many years, seem to be making much effort to use his success to her own advantage (or did I miss something?) Contrast that with Jules Oliver, that Gordon Ramsey's wife (don't know her name) and a myriad other 'other halves' who get the offers rolling in for no discernible talent, simply coz they're with a 'celebrity', It's so annoying, but I'm not sure she's one of them. And I'm not sure I wouldn't at least cash in a teensy bit if my fella was as famous as hers is. (Though not for much longer methinks)

Soapy Tit Wank? That's how the wrinkly cunt attracts the talent.

Oh, that, and money and a way into the film industry...

Hang on Puddy - I get sick to the fucking back teeth of this celeb shit of "Hey she's got X kids, wow ain't she looking great!" bollocks.

1 - she will have had a personal trainer and nutritionist to get her bod back to standard

2 - there'll be an army of nannies to feed the wailing cunt (no, not Wossy) in the middle of the night and see to every little demand

and 3 - she'll have had the old Caesarian (like all celebs and wives) to keep what would otherwise be a gaping minge nice and tight for Wossy's wiener.

And still dyeing her hair pink at the age of 40+ ? Christ

HA ! yeah like there was ANY chance I was going to watch that.

The Wicker Man remake. Say no more.

I will never forgive Nic Cage for his one line in National Treasure said which so much over drama that I wanted to throw my dog through the telly...."Ok (dramatic pause) I'm gonna steal the declaration independence (thoughtful look....exhale)"

Oh and Ghostrider - total bollocks.

Fuck off.

Did Claudia Schifer think she was going to the Alice In Wonderland premier?

Not sure, but does Sean Hughes have a part in it?

You do know STW's hostage boyfriend is the star of the film don't you?

Hasn't she got smashing tits?

*70's style phwooaar sound*

Jane Goldman - three kids, don't knock it. And she's getting paid. Although she has got to sleep with Wossy poor cow and his little wooden hard-on so she's not that jammy.

As for Kick-Ass - I hear it's meant to be good but it's Nic Cage who ought to get his arse kicked in. Over-rated smelly-breathed "actor" who's completely up his own backside.

.

Never mind the shit-eating grin he is wearing, what the fuck are those trousers?

Jane Goldman is as desperate and self-whoring as her unfunny and overrated/overpaid husband. Have you read any of her stuff? It's like someone programmed a random word generator and left it on by mistake. Funny how pre-Ross she was unknown, and my, how Ross's Film reviews just LOVE her stuff.

As for all these other luvvy couples - I'm sick of hearing about Taylor-Wood and her pederast obsession - Christ, starve them all of the oxygen of publicity, please

Middle aged writer wanks over teenage comic

Brad Pitt really does like that hat, doesn't he?

Not that I blame him. It is a nice hat.