Benicio's been in Snatch again
Tue, 12/04/2011 - 10:39 by John Hill

Benicio left his home with a dollar in his pocket and a head full of dreams. He said somehow, some way, it's gotta get better than this. Kimberly packed her bags, left a note for her momma, she was just thirty one, There were tears in her eyes when she kissed her PR agent goodbye.

Benicio wrote a letter back home to Kimberly's parents tryin to explain. He said were both real sorry that it had to turn out this way (via Benicio's agent):

“Kimberly is pregnant. Benicio is the father and is very supportive. Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby.”

Young hearts be free tonight. Time is on your side, Don't let them put you down, don't let em push you around, Don't let em ever change your point of view, as voiced by Benicio last year (via The Mirror):

"Everyone says, ‘Why isn’t he married?’ But it’s like, ‘fuck!’ Why do I have to get married? Just so I can get divorced?’"

So there you go, we explained it the best way we knew how. We'd like to give you more information, but it quite simply doesn't exist, so we can't.

 

We could guess at the name of the baby, we suppose. How about Brian. Maybe weighing in at 10 pounds?

  • "ah flip yo'll"

    The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 13/04/2011 - 14:34
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    I fancied him until about two minutes ago.

    Off to self harm

    Urfugginjokin Tue, 12/04/2011 - 21:08
  • Weirdest accidental pairing since Courtney Love & Alan Partridge...

    GretaBritain Tue, 12/04/2011 - 13:37
  • I bet he's regretting not taking her up Gasoline Alley.

    mrsmoon Tue, 12/04/2011 - 13:35
  • I wouldn't have said she had it in her to take on Benicio. Wonder if she hollered "I AM SAILING!!" as she came.

    PuddyTwat Tue, 12/04/2011 - 13:01
  • I am really enjoying the Daily Fail's coverage of this. Under the headline of the story, it has the subtitle "The pair are NOT a couple" Well blow me down! HOW SHOCKING! Get thee to a nunnery, Kimberley, you HARLOT. Sheesh.

    tescopop Tue, 12/04/2011 - 11:15
  • the babies first words will be "Yoooous cacksackin' muddafukka"

    bojangles Tue, 12/04/2011 - 11:10
  • OMG - NOoooooooooooooooooo, Benicio, why, why, WHY??? WTF - what an A-hole, of all people with, of all people? That's it, his poster's coming down off my wall - TODAY!

    BitchyNits Tue, 12/04/2011 - 10:54
  • OMG - NOoooooooooooooooooo, Benicio, why, why, WHY??? WTF - what an A-hole, of all people with, of all people? That's it, his poster's coming down off my wall - TODAY!

    BitchyNits Tue, 12/04/2011 - 10:54
  • the babies first words will be "Yoooous cacksackin' muddafukka"

    bojangles Tue, 12/04/2011 - 11:10
  • I am really enjoying the Daily Fail's coverage of this. Under the headline of the story, it has the subtitle "The pair are NOT a couple" Well blow me down! HOW SHOCKING! Get thee to a nunnery, Kimberley, you HARLOT. Sheesh.

    tescopop Tue, 12/04/2011 - 11:15
  • I wouldn't have said she had it in her to take on Benicio. Wonder if she hollered "I AM SAILING!!" as she came.

    PuddyTwat Tue, 12/04/2011 - 13:01
  • I bet he's regretting not taking her up Gasoline Alley.

    mrsmoon Tue, 12/04/2011 - 13:35
  • Weirdest accidental pairing since Courtney Love & Alan Partridge...

    GretaBritain Tue, 12/04/2011 - 13:37
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    I fancied him until about two minutes ago.

    Off to self harm

    Urfugginjokin Tue, 12/04/2011 - 21:08
  • "ah flip yo'll"

    The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 13/04/2011 - 14:34

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