She wears all of that slap because she's a very plain looking lass underneath it all. That's probably why she's so obsessed with dressing up all the time.

I'm fucked off today. All of these 'stories' look completely the same as every other day and all of these people are looking the same as each other and it's like if we don't gossip about them we'll fall into the infinite void of questioning our own existence. I need a drink.

Yup. Just like Jeremy Beadle. (That's a reply to Stella!)

I bet Lady Gaga is, in fact, an alter ego of Katie Price, who decided that just one identity doesn't bring in quite as much attention as she'd like. Would explain why Gaga keeps her face either hidden or covered in poorly-done makeup.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, on one hand she looks painfully ridiculous so I should be ripping into her but then on the other hand there are all these people saying "oooh look at her she's so avant garde...saviour of pop music...etc, etc".

Am I the only one who sees that she is just an ugly big nosed Christina Aguilera in childish fancy dress ?? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills !

What's that on her wrist - one of those comedy rubber chickens which if you squeeze them an egg comes out? Oh she's a prankster isn't she!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'd rather see 'stars' dressed (hilariously) to match their loopy mental states than look at 27 photos of generic women on the red carpet in Hollywood with the same hair/dress/face/tiny body or indeed the red carpet at some telly awards over here where everyone is competing to be the most orange/boobily enhanced/fanny-skimmingly short-dressed. It's really fucking depressing to see them all wandering around like vain, needy sheep. Those lot are just as fame hungry and attention seeking as Lady Gaga and Kelis, they just haven't got the guts to stray too far from the uniform of their peers.