Lady Gaga is basically a selfish child, if she sees something she wants it. When she was very young she saw Madonna and wanted to act like her, then when she was a bit older she saw a woman who'd been in a chemical fire and wanted to look like her, finally and most recently, she saw Kerry Katona and wanted to wear a meat suit like she does (although not everyday like Kerry).

All these dreams have come true for her Ladyship, although none mean anything unless she can become a real girl, like what Katy Perry and that posh fella of hers are. She must get married!

So she has. In a secret Greek ceremony held in Crete, attended by her closest friends and the 300 tabloid journalists she truly trusts, Lady G-Gah has been informally joined to her boyfriend Luc Carl, only days after she found out he had been cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend. Seems like the most sensible thing to do. It's very now of her, possibly even this season's black. She's just so controversial.

In other news she's also been having problems with the unnecessarily troublesome french unions and has had to cancel her tour of the Gallic country. Theoretically we would be worried about repercussions of insulting France, but this blog is mainly read by people at work.