Unless you're blind and deaf you will be aware that today saw the release of the Lady Gaga (Ft. Beyonce) video for Telephone. Yes, she gets the goods out within 20 seconds and references her non-cock again. It is however, very good.

Et voila:

I particularly like the way that Beyonce is happy to be in a 9 minute lesbo soft porn romp, but won't allow her swearing to be heard.

There are too many subliminal messages in it for my liking though.

For instance, I was just going to nip out and buy some lunch in a minute, but suddenly feel utterly compelled to stamp on my iPhone and run to my nearest Virgin Mobile outlet for a phone from the 90s. Alternatively, I could just order it online using my brand new 6 stone HP laptop.

Both the celebrity and pop world needs Lady Gaga as much as she needs them. But it's nearing the time to move on from the "spend a shitload on fancy dress and flashing the bits" routine.

Remember Gaga - after Madonna did all this before, she swiftly disappeared straight up her own bleached anus.