It's getting to the point where there's not much more The Lady Gaga (wife of the horrifically sadistic and cruel Lord Gaga) can say about things that happen in the real world. Sure she's still got a bucketload of stuff she can come out with when it comes to the proper way to drown a unicorn or how best to collect leprechaun hats, but when it's anything at all to do with the laws of physics, then, unfortunately dear HM readers, there's really not a lot of meat left in her sandwich, so to speak.

This is all perfectly illustrated in her most quote about body modification, where, about halfway through, her English and subsequent grasp on reality seems to waver a bit as she fades in and out of existence, crossing the ever thinning barrier between this world and that of a parallel dimension, one where ghosts are made of hairy Slinkies and Michael Jackson died penniless in Harlem (via Harper's Bazaar):

"I have never, ever encouraged my fans or anyone to harm themselves, nor do I romanticize masochism. Body modification is part of the overarching analysis of 'Born This Way.' In the video, we use Rico, who is tattooed head to toe [including a skull on his face]. He was born that way. Although he wasn't born with tattoos, it was his ultimate destiny to become the man he is today."

 

"I have never had plastic surgery, and there are many pop singers who have. I think that promoting insecurity in the form of plastic surgery is infinitely more harmful than an artistic expression related to body modification."

 

"And how many models and actresses do you see on magazine covers who have brand-new faces and have had plastic surgery, while I myself have never had any plastic surgery? I am an artist, and I have the ability and the free will to choose the way the world will envision me."

The bonkers bit? Oh, it's right here. She's either talking about us or the Taliban. It's hard to tell exactly which:

"Trust me, I know that. I think a lot of people love to convolute what everyone else does in order to disempower women. But my fans know me. They would never hurt themselves. And if they have hurt themselves, they come to me and say, 'Gaga, I want to stop, and your music helps me want to stop. Your music makes me want to love myself.' I am in no way promoting sadomasochism or masochism."  

Finally, she wants us all to know that not only does she love Alexander McQueen, but he chose her as his primary vessel with which to re-establish a connection with the living world after his suicide:

"I think he planned the whole thing: Right after he died, I wrote 'Born This Way.' I think he's up in heaven with fashion strings in his hands, marionetting away, planning this whole thing." Supporting Gaga's claim was the decision by the label--not Gaga herself--to move up the release date for "Born This Way," ultimately to the exact day of the one-year anniversary of McQueen's death. "When I heard that, I knew he planned the whole damn thing. I didn't even write the fucking song. He did!"

Can't help but feel like we're being taken for a ride here a little bit. Still, at least she's imaginative.

Up with channelling dead fashion designers! Down with epiphanies by teetotal teenagers!