Lady Gaga's new perfume to smell of blood and semen, we suggest alternatives

Everything seems in order here

Shame and children's tears?

Thu, 27/01/2011 - 12:54 by John Hill

So, according to reports, Lady Gaga, of the Haus of Gaga, has requested a perfume be made up for her that smells like blood and semen. Why anyone would want to smell like Noel Fielding's hair is beyond us, but what we do know for sure is that it is a very, very controversial choice for a fragrance. Very.

Luckily, we here at HM are just as creative as that dancing tart with the fake johnson, so have decided to make up a list of our very own celebrity perfumes. If they were honest that is.

Katie Price: Horse and human shit

Victoria Beckham: Famine and Mel C's tears

Kerry Katona: Ketamine and chips

Lizzy Cundy: Leather and tombs

Noah Cyrus: Paedobear's nuts

Paris Hilton: Coke and chihuahua saliva

Lindsay Lohan: Disappointment and daddy

John Travolta: Turkish men and baby oil

Jack Tweed: Desperation

If you have any thoughts about your own brands of colon water, please share them with us. The less racist and anti-semitic the better.

Celebrity Shame, Lady Gaga pictures, Lady Gaga

Comments

Join the queue daaaahling.
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 28/01/2011 - 14:28
Rev, you make me laugh, you really fucking do I THINK I LOVE YOU XXXX
mrsmoley Fri, 28/01/2011 - 11:52
Keep up the good work Ken!!!! xxx
mrsmoley Fri, 28/01/2011 - 11:50
Jade Goody: Rotting flesh and earth
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 28/01/2011 - 09:48
pete doherty: porridge, gangrene and doom
leaveitoutcleaver Fri, 28/01/2011 - 09:12
I think I get it. She is out to prove she can seduce Elton John.
ThePaganTemple Fri, 28/01/2011 - 04:33
Miley Cyrus - Strawberry Chapstick, Teen Spirit and My Cock.

*Deep Sigh*
ken tate Thu, 27/01/2011 - 23:42
Tom Cruise - Filipino House Boys and Poppers
banquosghost Thu, 27/01/2011 - 20:54
cheryl cole - farts and smugness
merkin Thu, 27/01/2011 - 20:38
Cunt
BonnyWill Thu, 27/01/2011 - 19:39
Thierry Mugler: Creosote and anabolic steroids.
kendoddsdadsdogsdead Thu, 27/01/2011 - 19:27
Mick Hucknall - piss.
because, as the rules say- all gingers have freckly backs, orange arseholes and stink of piss (the exception to this rule is Karen Gillan who smells of roses and new born love)
stevie7771 Thu, 27/01/2011 - 16:07
Nick Clegg - Crocidile Tears and David Cameron's cum
jiggerycock Thu, 27/01/2011 - 15:13
Archbishop Desmond Tutu - Dildoes and Crystal Meth
jiggerycock Thu, 27/01/2011 - 15:12
Craig David - human growth hormone and hammers
liquidspanner Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:44
Alex Reid: Luncheon meat and Brut
PuddyTwat Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:38
Britney Spears: Starbucks Frappucino, hair and the tears of (allegedly) sexually assaulted men.
tescopop Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:32
beth ditto: beef lard and germoline
stevie7771 Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:02
Jodie Marsh: Fake Bake and Vagisil
merylhighground Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:42
Russell Brand : Rohypnol and Swarfega.
BonnyWill Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:16
Peaches Geldof : Bile
The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:04
Jeremy Clarkson: turtle wax and hemorrhoid cream
stevie7771 Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:02
LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY, I'M GOING TO DO/SAY SOMETHING SHOCKING!!!

Yawn.
mickeyrat Thu, 27/01/2011 - 12:59

LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY, I'M GOING TO DO/SAY SOMETHING SHOCKING!!!

Yawn.
mickeyrat Thu, 27/01/2011 - 12:59
Jeremy Clarkson: turtle wax and hemorrhoid cream
stevie7771 Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:02
Peaches Geldof : Bile
The Rev Jesse Custer Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:04
Russell Brand : Rohypnol and Swarfega.
BonnyWill Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:16
Jodie Marsh: Fake Bake and Vagisil
merylhighground Thu, 27/01/2011 - 13:42
beth ditto: beef lard and germoline
stevie7771 Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:02
Britney Spears: Starbucks Frappucino, hair and the tears of (allegedly) sexually assaulted men.
tescopop Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:32
Alex Reid: Luncheon meat and Brut
PuddyTwat Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:38
Craig David - human growth hormone and hammers
liquidspanner Thu, 27/01/2011 - 14:44
Archbishop Desmond Tutu - Dildoes and Crystal Meth
jiggerycock Thu, 27/01/2011 - 15:12
Nick Clegg - Crocidile Tears and David Cameron's cum
jiggerycock Thu, 27/01/2011 - 15:13
Mick Hucknall - piss.
because, as the rules say- all gingers have freckly backs, orange arseholes and stink of piss (the exception to this rule is Karen Gillan who smells of roses and new born love)
stevie7771 Thu, 27/01/2011 - 16:07
Thierry Mugler: Creosote and anabolic steroids.
kendoddsdadsdogsdead Thu, 27/01/2011 - 19:27
Cunt
BonnyWill Thu, 27/01/2011 - 19:39
cheryl cole - farts and smugness
merkin Thu, 27/01/2011 - 20:38
Tom Cruise - Filipino House Boys and Poppers
banquosghost Thu, 27/01/2011 - 20:54
Miley Cyrus - Strawberry Chapstick, Teen Spirit and My Cock.

*Deep Sigh*
ken tate Thu, 27/01/2011 - 23:42
I think I get it. She is out to prove she can seduce Elton John.
ThePaganTemple Fri, 28/01/2011 - 04:33
pete doherty: porridge, gangrene and doom
leaveitoutcleaver Fri, 28/01/2011 - 09:12
Jade Goody: Rotting flesh and earth
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 28/01/2011 - 09:48
Keep up the good work Ken!!!! xxx
mrsmoley Fri, 28/01/2011 - 11:50
Rev, you make me laugh, you really fucking do I THINK I LOVE YOU XXXX
mrsmoley Fri, 28/01/2011 - 11:52
Join the queue daaaahling.
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 28/01/2011 - 14:28