The music industry was rocked last night by the biggest comeback of all time ever in the history of songs and stuff. No, it wasn't The Beatles. Nor was it Michael Jackson. Or Mozart. Or S Club 7... it was only The bloody Libertines!!!!!11

*awaits British indie kids to lay down the scissors and readership to cry with indifference*

After six, painful years without The Libertines, Pete Doherty and Carl Barat took to the stage at Leeds Festival for the most underwhelming comeback of all time... having to leave after three songs due to crowd safety fears.

Alas, they did return and treated the crowd to a set full of favourites (whatever they are) - impressively managing to go the entire 90 minutes without slinging any punches or smashing their guitars over each other's heads. And after years of uncertainty, Doherty proved he is a kind and caring soul after all, warning the crowd:

"If anyone goes down, don't stand on anyone's head or anything. Look after each other."

We're not going to lie, we do enjoy one or two songs of The Libertines, and we do prefer it when Doherty is safely on stage and not going in and out of rehab more times than he's gone in and out of Kate Moss. However, we find it hard to get excited over the return of someone who once forced his pet cat to smoke from a crack pipe.

Elsewhere at Leeds and Reading Festival, The Futureheads and Dizzee Rascal demonstrated the face they make while trying to squeeze out a massive shit, while the Mystery Jets demonstrated 'how to make yourself look like a massive cunt using only your hair'.