Lindsay Lohan was airbrushed within an inch of her life for the pages of German GQ  - her belly button is almost high enough to be mistaken for a third nipple and as if by magic - it's vanished! Meanwhile, she's checked herself into a "sober living home" in a last ditch attempt to avoid prison...

Lohan, who is set to serve her 90-sentence in four days (and counting!), checked into the rehab described as "a safe haven so that those in all stages of recovery can develop skills that will aid them in their journey of sobriety."

We bet she regrets admitting this about rehab a few years ago:

"It was an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of getting any jail time."

Either way, it all seems completely pointless if she's still taking five different prescription pills all at the same time to treat her imaginary ailments including constant acid reflux and heartburn; Adderall, an amphetamine used to treat ADHD, Dilaudid, an opiate based pain killer similar to morphine, Trazadone, a narcotic sleep aid, Zoloft, an antidepressant and Nexium, to treat acid reflux.

But her deluded mother insists that her daughter is "growing up" and has even thought about opening her own rehab centre in LA where they can all sit around off their tits and trade different prescription pills all day long to prevent other young stars like her "fall through the cracks in this town".

Dina somehow stopped herself from falling about laughing to put on a straight face as she explained:

"Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab centre here [in Los Angeles] and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don't fall through the cracks in this town.

"She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She's really growing up."

Seems unlikely, Dina.

Meanwhile, inmates at the Californian detention centre where Lohan will hopefully still be heading are looking forward to her arrival, with one saying:

"Everyone will want a piece of her.

 

"It will make them famous if they hurt Lindsay Lohan. Or if you get her to cry, the whole ward [WORLD] will laugh and people will love it - even the guards."