Walking disaster Lindsay Lohan trundled her sorry looking arse into London this week as she's being paid to stand in a couple of clubs. Can I get me some of that work?

She also somehow managed to get booked for a magazine shoot. Damn they must have the best make-up artist in the WORLD in that building. Either that or there is one extraordinarily nervous photoshop artist in a supermarket buying one of those 2L bottles of Red Bull to mix his amphetamines in. It's going to be one hell of a long session.

Is she grinding groin with Sam Ronson again? I could have missed that memo - but Sam is DJing in town too and Lindsay has bagged a place at Sam's house so anything is possible. Well, if the star from 'Herbies Rides Again' could end up sucking off Calum Best before turning gay for someone who looks like my window cleaner ANYTHING is possible.