When Lindsay Lohan appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show in the US last night she spoke frankly about her pain, her hopes for recovery and how she was saddened by the end of her relationship with Samantha Ronson. However, when she started talking about her father Michael a strange wheezing sound filled the air. Yes, it was the sound of born-again Christian Michael many miles away, drawing in his breath and getting a full lungful of air so that he could run around all the media outlets and whine his immediate response.

When Lindsay Lohan appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show in the US last night she spoke frankly about her pain, her hopes for recovery and how she was saddened by the end of her relationship with Samantha Ronson. However, when she started talking about her father Michael a strange wheezing sound filled the air. Yes, it was the sound of born-again Christian Michael many miles away, drawing in his breath and getting a full lungful of air so that he could run around all the media outlets and whine his immediate response.

Lindsay bared her soul (and if reports are to believed there won't be much of her that hasn't been bared soon) and confessed to Ellen,

"(I) watched my father do that (cheat) to my mother my entire life."

Michael, the fumer's fumer wasn't going to stand for this and immediately parachuted his born-again fury into the offices of news show Extra, screaming

"It disturbs me that... (she) accuses me of cheating on her mother when I only did so when Dina and I were separated."

He only cheated with Dina when they were separated? That doesn't quite work Michael, especially when you bear in mind that he left his family for another woman who had plentiful booze supplies. Luckily he still had some sage (and faintly creepy) advice to dispense. Did we mention that Michael is a born-again Christian?

"I truly believe that if she involves the right people in her life and does the right thing, her life and career will be back in order and come to even higher levels than it has before. I love her, I have faith in her and I know God is working in her life. I'm happy to see that she is getting back on the right track."

Amen to that. Having run out on his family once it's refreshing to see that Michael is further abdicating parental responsibility and asking God to take over and sort the whole mess out. Maybe Michael is being too optimistic? God might have created the heavens and earth in a few days, but sorting out Lindsay Lohan? He'd better clear his diary for the foreseeable future.