It was the The London Critics' Circle Film Awards last night, but we don't think Jaime Winstone was on her way there. We sort of forgot she was meant to be an actress until we saw that anti-piracy campaign again the other day... Bit rich of her to be accusing bootleggers of ruining cinema, isn't it? She's definitely done her fair share of shitting on film.

Anyway, she might be making our hair follicles ache, but at least her boyfriend's a nice improvement on Alfie Allen... Ray must be so proud.

Back to Colin Firth, though, he'll be reinforcing his mantle-piece this morning after picking up the Best Actor prize at last night's award do. Someone should've invited Ashton Kutcher really - he was looking pretty lost without Demi in London. Aw, don't worry, Kutcher - Amy Childs and Jack Tweed will look after you. 

PS: No, David Walliams, the public still hasn't forgiven you yet for Come Fly With Me, so get back in hiding.