They're probably boarding up Faeces nightclub as we type now that The Only Way Is Essex fame whores and Jack Tweed have invaded the clubs and restaurants of London Town instead. And while this lot weep off their fake eyelashes into their hair extensions, Essex chump Mark Wright and his girlfriend Kayla Collins, who together make Lempit Opik's and his 18-year-old fiancee's relationship look real, were out living it up in Nobu. But more importantly, Hanson are back, back, back!!

Wright, who was arrested last month with Jack Tweed after a fight outside a bar in Chigwell (oh, the glamour!), treated Kayla, her collagen implants and his sister Jessica to dinner at Nobu, before they headed off for a night full of Cava stuffed with sparklers at Funky Buddha.

Meanwhile, Jackie Collins was seen wearing the fur of ten thousand dead animals with her toyboy at C restaurant, X Factor loser Kaite Waissel was spotted sniffing around for paps outside Roka (although we'd rather see her nan out and about and letting her hair down - or not - NSFWish) and Hanson (my, how they've grown!) - performing at the 100 Club as part of a charity gig to stop the venue from being closed down. Isaac looks exactly the same, as does Taylor but we can't believe the youngest one clad in the super tight corduroys, would cut off and then dye his luscious long, blond locks that made him - black!

And the 100 Club must be desperate, were The Barbarellas not available?