After the pictures of her skeletor arms yesterday it looks like Madonna could do with some new limbs, but it is unlikely that the Zelda of pop will benefit from the arm and a leg being asked for an erotic answerphone she left an ex lover in the early Nineties.

Two micro-cassettes, containing an impressive 17 minutes of Madge grunting and wheezing and probably scaring the shit out of her former lover and bodyguard Jim Albright, are expected to fetch £24,000 while a “very personal and intimate” video of the singer that was sent to Albright is expected to go for £7,000.

How personal can it get? We’ve all seen her bits anyway so what did the cameraman do? Climb all the way inside her and takes some shots of her womb?

Albright was Madonna’s lover and bodyguard in 1992-3, which is exactly the time that Kevin Costner was “protecting” Whitney Houston in the film. Bit of a cliché that isn't, Madge?

The lots are available in an auction called Gotta Have Rock and Roll.