Madonna reported to be giving Jesus $10,000 a month pocket money

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Jesus Luz - pricelessJesus Luz - priceless

Giving back to Jesus
Mon, 19/10/2009 - 13:10 by Harry Bow

Jesus has plenty of cash to pimp his crib...

Money well earned? Madonna is rumoured to be giving baby Jesus a rather generous allowance; as well as the $2.7 mill manger she's said to have bought him in Manhattan, he apparently gets $10,000 a month spending money.

This all seems a bit unfair considering her own kids aren't even allowed to watch TV, but you've got to consider Jesus' duties ... *shudder* - or maybe not. Just how much Viagra, booze and therapy can you crack out of $10,000??

A pal of the 23-year-old 'model' said:

“Jesus basically lived paycheck to paycheck before he met Madonna, and he, like most people, had bills. Madonna gives him about $10,000 a month to cover his expenses, including his cell phone, insurance and credit card payments."

Still, this is only pocket change for Madge - Guy Ritchie walked away with between $76 and $92 million after their divorce - but then again, she did single-handedly kill his career with her performance in Swept Away. Luckily Jesus - whose previous work-highs have included some catalogue modeling - doesn't really have a rep to damage (unless you count all that son of God stuff).

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Comments

  • Prom Hairstyles 2010

    prom2010 Mon, 05/04/2010 - 11:37

  • Prom Hairstyles 2010

    prom2010 Mon, 05/04/2010 - 11:36

  • Y'know Dancing Worm, I know I've given you a hard time in the past, but the combination of 'humafridite' (a person with both sets of sex organs and a lot of body humidity?) and 'isn't it illegal to call your child Jesus' have turned me around. Thank you for being on here. Even though you only come out late at night (like the BNP leafletting round my way) you're worth waking up to. You scare the bejaysus out of me, but what you write makes me piss myself.

    merylhighground Tue, 20/10/2009 - 08:45

  • in other words he is a GIGALO like pretty woman the movie but in this case its Pretty boy. My god her arms in picture 7 what a sight to behold how does anyones arms look like that??? its like an anorexic arms on steroids its crazy. She looks like a humafridite to the extreme. Dont have anything against jesus but isnt it illegal to call your child Jesus or is that Hitler???

    dancingworm Tue, 20/10/2009 - 06:54

  • *sniffs fingers*

    Blartmonster Tue, 20/10/2009 - 01:04

  • Has anyone done the 'strapping a plank across his ass' joke yet?

    Mr Beefy Mon, 19/10/2009 - 23:10

  • It's scandalous that men are allowed to walk around semi-clad like that. He'll catch his death.

    *frigs*

    merylhighground Mon, 19/10/2009 - 22:48

  • Fucking hell he'll get shitloads of Fizzers and Millions with 10 big ones. As long as she doesn't get him to massage her bunions... *projectile vomits*

    Blartmonster Mon, 19/10/2009 - 20:07

  • he can buy a load of match attax and GoGos for 10k

    shitthebed Mon, 19/10/2009 - 18:54

  • Looks like lumpy porridge squeezed into a rotting sausage case.

    dandyboy Mon, 19/10/2009 - 18:18

  • Holy shit. Pic 7. That's some zombie hands right there.

    BustySinclair Mon, 19/10/2009 - 15:16

  • How fucking veiny are her arms and hands in picture 7?

    I can feel my lunch coming back up.

    kangaroo Mon, 19/10/2009 - 14:45

  • Think you're selling yourself short sir! I'd be aiming for a lot more if the duties included having to give her stringy corpse a good biffing...maybe a kfc bucket or two?

    erniemilko Mon, 19/10/2009 - 14:33

  • nice work if you can get it - indoors with no heavy lifting.

    unseemlydogposture Mon, 19/10/2009 - 14:09

  • As much as I feel for Hey-soos in poking his prick into Madge's smelly doughnut, it's Mariah's hubby I feel for. Madge looks like she might still know how to have some fun but porky-pie Mariah is as crazed as a fart.

    PuddyTwat Mon, 19/10/2009 - 13:50

  • That's about how much I'd charge to go out with her I reckon. I'd like the odd Wendys and a milkshake too.

    kwebb Mon, 19/10/2009 - 13:35

  • That's about how much I'd charge to go out with her I reckon. I'd like the odd Wendys and a milkshake too.

    kwebb Mon, 19/10/2009 - 13:35

  • As much as I feel for Hey-soos in poking his prick into Madge's smelly doughnut, it's Mariah's hubby I feel for. Madge looks like she might still know how to have some fun but porky-pie Mariah is as crazed as a fart.

    PuddyTwat Mon, 19/10/2009 - 13:50

  • nice work if you can get it - indoors with no heavy lifting.

    unseemlydogposture Mon, 19/10/2009 - 14:09

  • Think you're selling yourself short sir! I'd be aiming for a lot more if the duties included having to give her stringy corpse a good biffing...maybe a kfc bucket or two?

    erniemilko Mon, 19/10/2009 - 14:33

  • How fucking veiny are her arms and hands in picture 7?

    I can feel my lunch coming back up.

    kangaroo Mon, 19/10/2009 - 14:45

  • Holy shit. Pic 7. That's some zombie hands right there.

    BustySinclair Mon, 19/10/2009 - 15:16

  • Looks like lumpy porridge squeezed into a rotting sausage case.

    dandyboy Mon, 19/10/2009 - 18:18

  • he can buy a load of match attax and GoGos for 10k

    shitthebed Mon, 19/10/2009 - 18:54

  • Fucking hell he'll get shitloads of Fizzers and Millions with 10 big ones. As long as she doesn't get him to massage her bunions... *projectile vomits*

    Blartmonster Mon, 19/10/2009 - 20:07

  • It's scandalous that men are allowed to walk around semi-clad like that. He'll catch his death.

    *frigs*

    merylhighground Mon, 19/10/2009 - 22:48

  • Has anyone done the 'strapping a plank across his ass' joke yet?

    Mr Beefy Mon, 19/10/2009 - 23:10

  • *sniffs fingers*

    Blartmonster Tue, 20/10/2009 - 01:04

  • in other words he is a GIGALO like pretty woman the movie but in this case its Pretty boy. My god her arms in picture 7 what a sight to behold how does anyones arms look like that??? its like an anorexic arms on steroids its crazy. She looks like a humafridite to the extreme. Dont have anything against jesus but isnt it illegal to call your child Jesus or is that Hitler???

    dancingworm Tue, 20/10/2009 - 06:54

  • Y'know Dancing Worm, I know I've given you a hard time in the past, but the combination of 'humafridite' (a person with both sets of sex organs and a lot of body humidity?) and 'isn't it illegal to call your child Jesus' have turned me around. Thank you for being on here. Even though you only come out late at night (like the BNP leafletting round my way) you're worth waking up to. You scare the bejaysus out of me, but what you write makes me piss myself.

    merylhighground Tue, 20/10/2009 - 08:45

  • Prom Hairstyles 2010

    prom2010 Mon, 05/04/2010 - 11:36

  • Prom Hairstyles 2010

    prom2010 Mon, 05/04/2010 - 11:37

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