It turns out wealth is just as much of an aphrodisiac for gentlemen as it is for ladies. As a self-assured, confident, intelligent woman, you only need to tell us penis-wielders your job involves working closely with money in a pole-based environment and we'll be falling over ourselves to buy you a half of weak cider. 

The collection of bones, gristle and veins formerly known as Madonna has allegedly been spotted out in a New York club with her choreographer Brahim Rachiki, a man who was first attracted to the grotty old singer when he saw the size of her assets. Even her enormously unattractive visage and her international notoriety as a child kidnapper wasn't enough to dispel the overwhelming stench of associated fame filling his nostrils.

We say good luck to the silly old tart and why not? Her 37 immigrant children have no any idea who their fathers are anyway, so it's not exactly going to damage them further.

Pictures of the Madge's new bonkpal will be up as soon we can legally get them. Possibly before.