Canary bird Mad Mariah is the biggest swinger in town.

all those moths need to land somewhere - I need longer arms

"My life is fucked and without purpose - thank God my mum thinks I'm a crack dealer"

And with a loud slurping sound, Mariah Carey finally disappeared up her own arsehole, leaving just a floating ball of taffeta and a lingering stench of tupperware.

It's impossible to wank thinking about Mariah Carey. Fact

hahahaha!

The high level alpha-wave emitter on the new full body scanner at Heathrow bore a startling resemblance to a cunt in a tutu.

The new shower system in Guantanamo Bay was not appreciated by all of the inmates.

One girl, no cup

"I thought my mum had put some spare toilet roll under here."

"I hope I put enough lubricant behind my ears this time"

I bet she doesn't have the usual set up.

For all her 'Puerto Rican Hooker' style, she seems desperately asexual or sexual in a nice,safe, corporate-boardroom America way.

I bet it's like looking up Barbie's dress. A big old buffed, shiny, plastic Beetlebonnet, smelling of Tupperware.

"If I put my arms out like this, maybe just my head will go in"