Mark Croft to divorce Kerry Katona

4 Kerry Katona and Mark Croft to divorce Sue Katona at Kerry Katona's home advert Sue Katona at Kerry Katona's home

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft to divorce

Eternal shame

Sun, 26/07/2009 - 11:44 by HM writer

Just when things were beginning to look up for Kerry Katona, her slimeball of a husband, Mark Croft, has reportedly been telling friends he wants a divorce because (and we quote) "she's turned into a lardarse" and he ain't going to bed with that...

The former cabbie is apparently launching legal proceedings to end their two-year marriage, according to The News of The World, after Katona kicked him to the curb for the third time this year.

And their fall out is said to be over a text message that proves that Croft had cavorted with strippers during their recent trip to Majorca.

Croft has since retaliated by consulting his lawyers and serving Kerry with a legal letter which claims that he "cannot reasonably be expected to live with her".

A friend of a friend of a friend told another friend, who then told The News Of The World (in which we have filled in the stars for you):

Mark is furious that Kerry has been claiming he likes her better fat. He says that's bollocks. He's been finding himself far less attracted to her. Kerry is an absolute wreck. She cannot believe what he has done and is spending almost all her time in tears. She is terrified of ending up a mum-of-four alone.

During their trip away in Spain, a mole there informed us that they had spotted someone who could have very easily been Croft, wolf whistling at other women while Kerry (though completely spangled) was very polite and chatting to people in a bar.

Another source added:

The holiday was meant to be a way of the two of them falling in love again. But Mark soon found some ex-pats he could drink with all night, and he started to leave Kerry to go home on her own. After the holiday Mark's friend sent him a text telling him his girlfriend had found out. Kerry discovered the text and went ballistic.

Poor, poor Kerry. Just look at what she's got to comfort her...(pic

Celebrity Split, Kerry Katona, Mark Croft

Comments

God, how much more can a Cheshire housewife take when the paps are following your every move and you really, really hate all the publicity. Call me Mystic Meg but I can foresee a "My Booze And Pills Hell" in the News Of The Screws followed/financed by a trip to The Priory for poor Kerry coming up quite soon. Obviously the recent scouting job to LA with hunky taxi driver Mark to relocate is fucked at this stage. Should have saved a few bob, blossom. Should have gone to Iceland. They're bankrupt too.
SelectiveInvective Mon, 03/08/2009 - 19:56
Well, he might be a cunt-faced oxygen thief at the best of times but lets face it, he's only telling it like it is - she is too fucking fat. Apart from chubby chaser weirdos, who would want that bouncing up and down on their tender bits?

If i was a bloke, i wouldn't touch her for a years worth of Iceland prawn rings....
nepenthe Mon, 27/07/2009 - 22:56
...and they seemed such a happy couple, too...
walsingham Mon, 27/07/2009 - 19:38
He doesn't fancy her because she's fat, and obviously he's a proper fucking Richard Gere...cunt
toady Mon, 27/07/2009 - 18:56
Who are they.He, it says is a cabbie, and she is- a what ? How do they get a mention when famous for nothing at all that I can see.
Anyway I do not care either way.
koos Mon, 27/07/2009 - 14:43
Fucking hell hes a master piece has he looked in the mirror lately , shes just lost a lot of weight with that twat going
carbon cowboy Mon, 27/07/2009 - 12:43
Still though, got to be the first celebrity divorce where the celebrity is the poor one doing the scrounging.
dandyboy Mon, 27/07/2009 - 12:37
I'd feed him - to her - limb by limb and then kick her - repeatedly - until her head came clean off. Maybe auction kicks at 50p each for charity. Form a queue.
kwebb Mon, 27/07/2009 - 11:47
I just put a £10 million bet on her still being alive at the end of this month. If the bookies dont want to go bust then they know what they have to do.
unclebullshit Sun, 26/07/2009 - 17:43
I always tend to turn my back. Even knowing there's a prawn ring inside. 'Just shuffle awkwardly by' is my motto on the way to the bus stop a few metres further on.
stella ah trois Sun, 26/07/2009 - 16:51
This has ruined my week-end, I thought they were so happy together, I'm not even sure I can face Iceland knowing this upset has occured
bystander Sun, 26/07/2009 - 16:45
Have I missed something, like the news the dead are walking the earth, but isn't pic one Jade with Mark? Oh spooky and pooy pants time... History repeats itself; first as farce then as farce. My universe collapseth.
stella ah trois Sun, 26/07/2009 - 15:24
These thick despicable cunts deserve each other
Boffer Sun, 26/07/2009 - 12:15

These thick despicable cunts deserve each other
Boffer Sun, 26/07/2009 - 12:15
Have I missed something, like the news the dead are walking the earth, but isn't pic one Jade with Mark? Oh spooky and pooy pants time... History repeats itself; first as farce then as farce. My universe collapseth.
stella ah trois Sun, 26/07/2009 - 15:24
This has ruined my week-end, I thought they were so happy together, I'm not even sure I can face Iceland knowing this upset has occured
bystander Sun, 26/07/2009 - 16:45
I always tend to turn my back. Even knowing there's a prawn ring inside. 'Just shuffle awkwardly by' is my motto on the way to the bus stop a few metres further on.
stella ah trois Sun, 26/07/2009 - 16:51
I just put a £10 million bet on her still being alive at the end of this month. If the bookies dont want to go bust then they know what they have to do.
unclebullshit Sun, 26/07/2009 - 17:43
I'd feed him - to her - limb by limb and then kick her - repeatedly - until her head came clean off. Maybe auction kicks at 50p each for charity. Form a queue.
kwebb Mon, 27/07/2009 - 11:47
Still though, got to be the first celebrity divorce where the celebrity is the poor one doing the scrounging.
dandyboy Mon, 27/07/2009 - 12:37
Fucking hell hes a master piece has he looked in the mirror lately , shes just lost a lot of weight with that twat going
carbon cowboy Mon, 27/07/2009 - 12:43
Who are they.He, it says is a cabbie, and she is- a what ? How do they get a mention when famous for nothing at all that I can see.
Anyway I do not care either way.
koos Mon, 27/07/2009 - 14:43
He doesn't fancy her because she's fat, and obviously he's a proper fucking Richard Gere...cunt
toady Mon, 27/07/2009 - 18:56
...and they seemed such a happy couple, too...
walsingham Mon, 27/07/2009 - 19:38
Well, he might be a cunt-faced oxygen thief at the best of times but lets face it, he's only telling it like it is - she is too fucking fat. Apart from chubby chaser weirdos, who would want that bouncing up and down on their tender bits?

If i was a bloke, i wouldn't touch her for a years worth of Iceland prawn rings....
nepenthe Mon, 27/07/2009 - 22:56
God, how much more can a Cheshire housewife take when the paps are following your every move and you really, really hate all the publicity. Call me Mystic Meg but I can foresee a "My Booze And Pills Hell" in the News Of The Screws followed/financed by a trip to The Priory for poor Kerry coming up quite soon. Obviously the recent scouting job to LA with hunky taxi driver Mark to relocate is fucked at this stage. Should have saved a few bob, blossom. Should have gone to Iceland. They're bankrupt too.
SelectiveInvective Mon, 03/08/2009 - 19:56