It's about time Ashley Cole found love again, isn't it? It's been almost a year since Cheryl divorced him, and he's been a sad, lonely man ever since - only enjoying the odd fling with Kayla Collins and anyone wearing a 5cm long skirt in Whisky Mist. However, it looks like his latest liaison could have the longevity he's been looking for. Her name is Annie Cooper. And she plays a wannabe WAG in Hollyoaks. They couldn't be any more of a perfect match!

So, let's get this straight...

For her day job, Annie pretends to be a desperate young girl whose only ambition in life is to marry a wealthy footballer and sponge money and fame off of him on a daily basis.

And now, in her main job as a human being, Annie is a desperate young girl who goes out with a wealthy footballer and sponges money and fame off of him on a daily basis.

It's as if it were written in the stars.

The pair of them have apparently been bumping uglies for a good month now, and have had separate cars drive them back to Cashley's mansion from whatever trendy London hangouts they happen to have been necking champagne in. The Sun's source, who was spying on them in Whisky Mist the other night, told of the fun and games they were getting up to in the bar:

"They were on a table with Ashley's pals when he suggested playing the ice cube game. This involved passing the ice-cube, boy to girl, using their mouths."

OMG cos then it's totally like they're kissing and that!

"The lads then got carried away by putting the ice down the girls' tops."

No no, that is not 'the lads' getting 'carried away'. That is the child-like mentality of the footballers who - at the age of 30 - still think doing things like that is hilarious and that the girls love it. Which is the saddest thing, because they probably do love it. They love any attention from £120,000-a-week footballers, especially when it's directed at their cleavage.

So here's to Ashley and Annie! We wish you a lifetime of happiness and ice-cube based japes.