For some inexplicable reason, producers thought it would be a good idea to release Michael Jackson's concert film "This Is It" simultaneously around the world.

This is brilliant if you live in America as you could just go straight from work. However, bad news if you live in London - the bloody thing didn't kick off until 1am. Did this stop celebrity turning up in their tens? Well, not really. Peter Andre turned up still wearing black, Brian Friedman arrived in his Alex Reid costume and Abi Clancy reminded us all of a man's legacy for having fake pointy things attached to his body, in the shape of a couple of rather impressive tractor nuts. What?! Were there no deluded lunatics dressed up as Michael Jackson under the illusion that this film is the equivalent of Jesus coming back to life and starring in a porno with Paris Hilton.

"BUT WHAT'S THE SHOW LIKE?" I hear you ask?Fucked if I know to be honest, but at a guess it's a bit of a turd rolled in glitter - an entire movie created from about 12 minutes of actual Jackson footage, with the rest allegedly using impersonators and stand-ins.

I would put my house on there being a bit of a mawkish moment where a song is sung about 'children of the world being ill and stuff' and everyone in the cinema looks at each other uncomfortably.

The bit where they all spin in the air looks cool though, and Billie jean is still the greatest pop song ever made.

Wondering who could possibly turn up to the same event in Las Vegas? Well today is your lucky day (give me 5 minutes).