What happened to the time when you could call people on a landlines and leave a drunken message on their answerphone? Nothing says I love you like playing Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar into the phone at three o'clock on a worknight.

Not now though, oh no, kids these days are texting and sexting, as if even the thought of going an entire day without seeing a classmate's tits would make them break into a cold sweat. We blame the internet. In particular, Google, 'Kelly Brook naked' and MrSkin. In that order.

Of course, Miley, being part of the new generation of mobile telephone users, is using her free off-peak texts to full advantage, except unlike most of us ugly people, she's contacting Jared Followill (via Hollywood Life):

'Miley wants to keep Jared interested. She often sends him coy text messages. So far, he is a big fan of what she has been sending. He’s such a fan, in fact, he’s been bragging to his friends about her texts! “Jared loves showing off his texts from Miley. He thinks she’s very pretty and is excited she’s still flirting with him.”'

Although if Jared's got any sense, he won't lead our little Salvia smoking, non-blowjob giving pop strumpet along. Here she is giving a pap what for, understandably furious at him for apparently barging her mother...