But surely fuckwit, you do it in the dark? No? Ugh, that's disgusting. Lights out, missionary position, hands crossed on chest a la burial pose, whispering "Dirty,dirty,dirty." Problem of weird nose solved.

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" "Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!" "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." "But, I did send them." "What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously. "Yes. That's how we won the case." "I don't understand," said the lawyer. "It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."
http://www.uggvipshop.com/

Who is his boyfriend then?

Lavender marriage.

Ah yes.
But I quite often look at the girl I'm shagging during sex. Unless you're only going to do her from the rear, it's quite hard to look at your own poker in her fireplace, and avoid her mantlepiece. I wouldn't want to round off a lovely evening with a crick in my neck

Up till now I hadn't realised she actually had a face. I see what you all mean, but no, I wouldn't kick her out of bed.

mantlepiece . . . . stoking . . . . fire

She's just got unusually widely spaced eyes, that's all.
And possibly a nose job.

But hey, we're all so perfect we can throw the first stone!

*whistling*

I can just imagine you lot... "Hi Miranda, nice to meet you. Well thanks for begging me, but I don't really want to sleep with you, sorry. It's something to do with your strange nose, and there's something not quite right about the way you look."

I think not...

Beard!

Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site [A_g_e_m_i_n_g_le @ c.//o.//m]---a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends

Gagged you read my mind!! Very odd bugle, also her facial features - ears,nose.eyes all seem to be squashed in to a very small space on her face.

Fucking ugly bitch (ish).

She's generally got a "something not quite right" face/head, I can't pin exactly down what's wrong but it definitely ain't right

Wonder whose cousins are the first to get arrested at the reception.